.,i know you'll understand...

.,i worried so much about what you are going to say to me by the time we'll see each other.... but well, i do not know that i am this worthy of your time... you waited for me there for about three hours... well i appreciate it a lot.... but i feel sorry for you... and i feel so valuable in turn.... hahaha...=)
i don't know that you are fund of making surprises.... you texted me with words having an unpleasant construction... but then in minutes, you're here in front of our gate calling my mom's attention....
"may surprise ako sayo..." that's what you said earlier this day.... but i never thought that you really meant what you have said... you really surprised me a lot.... actually this is the first time that i had such... from my eighteen years of living... (as far as i remember...) you just came from nowhere and then in just a snap we are on the table eating stuffs.... i had a lot of positive feedbacks going in here.... my mom always liked you... as if you really look so 'angelic'!!!!..... my sister-in-law also liked you because she said you look nice.... hahaha.... if they just know....(just kidding...)
well, what can i say... above all those people who made an impact on me starting earlier this day you are the only person who smashed it!!!..... hahaha... you're the best... i really idolize you... and you made an effort to bring me a gift... and i say this is the best gift ever.... that anyone have been given me... i repeat... "THE BEST!!!!" you really know what i want... and you are making me smile up to now... hahaha....=) when some one sees me they might think i am out of my mind... i really just can't believe you showed up... i never expected anything from you... you're really the BEST FRIEND i have ever had....
you completed my day... don't you know that?.... you are the biggest bang over those fireworks flashing above the sky!!!.... i can not think of any other words to define and explain what i am feeling right now.... what i know is that i just feel really happy... overwhelmed and like this is one of those very memorable birthdays ever happened in my life....
expect that i will forever treasure this gift that you have given me... i will make sure that no one even my niece can get this away from me....
that i will never ever attempt to exchange our friendship from any other stuffs in this world... may it be gold, silver, diamond or platinum.... nothing....
i will treasure this friendship FOREVER... always.... and up to the time when i still could....=)

.,eighteen at twenty-six......

.,"michaelangelo villegas angeles, malugod kitang binabati ngayong araw ng iyong kapanganakan. pagpalain ka nawa ng Diyos!..."- this is the very first message that i have received at 12:06:33 am.... haizzzz..... i always look at my phone every 2:00am or so... everytime... even during normal days... and this is the very first message that my heavy eyes have read... and then i smiled... "may bumati na pala sa akin..." hehehe... tsike... i appreciate your effort on waiting for that time to arrive.... thank you so much.... then as they say, the rest is now history.... i have received a lot of greetings through different mediums... and everything made my heart jump of its pericardial sac... there are a lot of greetings and a lot of things to do.... i do not always look at my phone to see who are those who 'remembers me...' and that is also the reason why i make a lot of issues with important people... (you know it, when the message is so important but then you can just read it at about 5 or six hours passed from the time that it was sent... or you have received it.... ) well i feel so sorry 'bout that...
know what? i just realized by now that it is also hard to have a wide circle of friends.... well, one disadvantage i have seen is that, i do not know to whom should i pay attention my attention first.. my high school friends?... or the present ones?.... i feel like i am being crushed between two huge pile of stones... i tell you guys, its really hard to be in between... i have made a commitment between my college friends earlier than any other groups.... but i felt guilty when i received the text greetings of my high school friends and bestfriends.... some says...
"nu bang balita dyan?..." ;
"happy birthday poh... san tau?..." ;
"happy birthday prend, mis u poh" ;
"oi wla ka bang plano nyan?bday e.."
and the most hurting and pressuring and very giultying one... came from my 'bestfrend'-
"kel zj 2. D2 q 101 hnhntay kta..." huwhhhhhhhaaaaaaattttttttt??????...... i was really shocked when i have read that text message.... what was the time?.... Oh My God!!! that was 03:21:59pm and i have just read it now.... its already 7:09pm.... that was about four hours ago?.... he waited for me.... huh!!!!..... i was so busy on entertaining my 'new' friends... that i have forgotten to take even a little peek on my 'ugly phone'..... i feel so guilty.... how dare i do that to him?.... even though it was not my intention i really felt so much guilt within me.... haizzzz. its my birthday!!!..... but i am not so happy about that thing that had happened.... 'mi companera' said... "magsori ka na lang... sabihin mo may klase ka tsaka busy ka kamu kanina..... kaya hindi mo nabasa...." which is all true.... i had to take a quiz for our last subject and then put so much attention on my friends.... i am not blaming them.... i am blaming myself.... what kind of a person am i?... haizzzz..... i really feel so sad about that thing.....
"sorry 'bestfrend'...." it has never been my intention to keep you waiting for nothing.....
i do not know if i am that worthy of your time.... and with all my heart....
"i am sincerely sorry...."

.,an abled disable....

.,haizz.... i wonder why the world we live in is not fair... i have been to bagac a few minutes ago.... and i was really happy to be there the fourth time around i think.... even though it is just me and mi anghel dela guardia, the time that we have spent there has been fun .... how can i be sad when every time i go there i do nothing but eat... eat and guess what more???.... EAT!!!!!!......=) (thanks tita edna....)
ok now back to the title....
the story happened during the 'departing time'... i, myself and anghel dela guardia waits for the Jeep to gather more passengers and make the vehicle 'full' so that we can go....
Manong: "Oh pakiabot na lang yung bayad nyo oh..."(can you just please pass on your fares...)
(mi anghel dela guardia gave our payment to manong...)
Manong: "estudyante?...." (students?)
Mi anghel dela guardia: "opo manong"... (yes manong)
A not so old lady heard that conversation and said....
Ale: "etong bayad, dalawang liang, isang balanga...."(here's our payment two passengers going to liang and one to balanga....) the NSOL gave a hundred pesos and the conductor asked for an additional six pesos...
Ale2: "magkano ho ba hanggang liang?...." (how much is the fare to liang?...)
Manong: "beinte otso ho isa... 56 kayong dalawa tapos isang balanga 50...." (28pesos each, 56pesos for the two of you and 50 pesos for the other lady...)
Ale: "estudyante eah..."... (the other one is a student...)
and she looked at me upon saying those words to manong... what is that thing that she wants to imply?.... well, it is not my problem anymore.... i paid for my part.... and we are recognized as students because we are in our uniform... and the girl that she was talking about is on a civilian outfit... so it won't be valid...=) hahahaha....lols....
while we are waiting there all things are just in a normal condition... but not when this entity showed up having a non typical 'getlook'.... yes... he's the one that i am pertaining to in the title.... he is a disabled man on a wheel chair... i do not know what was the reason why he went to a far off place having no one with him.... his legs are like a rotten vegetable... with no definite support... it sways as he climbs his way through the Jeep....
it is like, the clocked has stopped ticking for all the people in there... as in all the people waiting for another trip to balanga.... they are all merely looking at the disabled human being like it is the only time that they have seen one.... what those people don't know is that some other observant individuals also look at them waiting for their reactions.... i do not know what are those that they feel during that time... all i know is that they are looking at that 'fighter' with all those 'judging' eyes....
good thing for that individual, he was helped by the conductor on climbing his way up to his seat.... near the door...
Fighter: "salamat po manong, salamat... eto pong bayad ko... magkano ba hanggang balanga?..." (thank you so much mister... thank you.... here's my fare... how much is it?...)
he was asked to pay just forty pesos coz he is a disabled citizen... and thanks for the consideration of the conductor.... and he did not stop saying 'thank you' to those concerned individuals who helped him up to the time when he already need to get down the vehicle.... even if he does not get even a single 'welcome' he continuously says thank you to every one....
i was really touched by that man's condition... i am walking with my two feet with my legs all functional.... but at times i make indifferent or negative comments when i feel so tired from walking... his condition made me realize how blessed am i to have all my body parts working or functioning well.... that there are things we posses which in most times- not appreciated... that we, on our every day life should be thankful about all the things that we have and be contented on it.... rather than to seek for those things that we can classify as a 'better' one which in turn can disregard those important little details we posses....

.,love this...

.,archieaddict....

.,how will i call myself?.... archieaddict?.... hahaha.... i am having a senseless listening marathon of his songs.... as in all of it!... those that's in his album.... hahaha.... i love all the songs i have heard... of course i already know how 'crush' goes... then angels, my hands, barriers, touch my hand, running, you can, desperate, don't let go is now playing.... hahaha... i love the intro.... i don't know if its lively... can't figure it out.... hahaha... just listening... not so much getting myself into it now.... hahaha.... i also love running.... the chorus... (alright guys I'm trying hard....=) David can sing all kinds of songs... he's not just a ballad singer.... he's fantastic... yes, say it!!! i am a BIG fan....
ok guys on my birthday i will be whole heartily thankful if anyone can buy his album and give it to me as a gift.... hahaha just kidding....( hei jokes are half meant...=)
oh its waiting for yesterday now playing.... and its cute.... well, i am not gonna skip any songs here...
tired of reading all about archuleta?.... huh... lol... this is all about him... this is just the first time i talked about him here...
well, so much about the songs... why do i like archie?.... well aside from he sings really great, my first impression to him is that.... he looks like matt dallas... (know him?) 'kyle'.... he's like the younger version.... (of which i am also a fan....) his songs are beautiful... actually i like him more than the other David... i also like the other David but i love archie better....(huh?...) lol... somebody out there now playing... lol... this song is also cute....the song goes like... "there's somebody out there, somebody somewhere to show you the tenderness you need... somebody to hold you when worries control you... I'd give anything if only you knew it was me...." nice song right?.... i recommend you try to listen at the full song...
i heard To be with you a while ago... and i also love it... yes, yes i love all the songs...lol... a beautiful intro.. "I've been alone so many nights now and I've been waiting for the stars to fall.... i keep holding out for what i don't know... to be with you... just to be with you... so here i am staring at the moon tonight... maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too.... " and when you're standing here in front of me that's when i know that God does exist cause He will answer every single prayer to be with you... just to be with you.... you...."
that's the songs.... off now... time for me to eat lunch.... my heart is full, but my stomach is aching...lols... =)

go, go, archieaddict...=)

.,archie marathon....

.,the very first time i've heard this song... it made my heart beat so fast... that even my brain can not control the overflowing of emotions.... hahaha.... that is why they called me 'emongelo' for once.... call it drama... call me weird.... but tears really came out from these weary eyes.... (ahhhh....) i really love the songs of archuleta... and i don't care what other people might say.... and his voice, its really enchanting... always sings a very heart felt song....(of course those ballads... and love songs....=) i also do love 'Falling' a very heart warming song... and good lyrics... "there could be something more to what my life may have in store... keep on pressing through to the end..." (just heard...=) here's you can... the first song i've heard...

David Archuleta - You Can Lyrics

Mmmmm
Take me where I've never been
Help me on my feet again
Show me that good things come to those who wait
Tell me I'm not on my own
Tell me I won't be alone
Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Baby, when you look at me
Tell me what do you see
Are these the eyes of someone you could love?
'Cause everything that brought me here
Well, not it all seems so clear
Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love

Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
Bring me to my knees and make me cry
And no one's ever done this
Everything was just a lie and I know, yes, I know

This is where it all begins
So tell me it will never end
I can't fool myself, it's you and no one else

If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Show me that good things come to those who wait....

.,thinkin'....

.,it's just less than a week and i still don't know if i can celebrate it.... well, my friends already know why....
in life, there are things that won't work if it isn't meant to... and as my 'bestfrend' said... "things...will not always go... the way we want it..." haizzzz.....
i do not know what to do... i feel so selfish and self-centered, and hei (friends with benefits what is it?...) oh a 'bitch'.. hahaha.... i was just like a social larvae... am i a good friend?.... well, honestly i think not... neither do they know... i know, i know... jokes are half meant right?... but i really just can't see even a single ray of light in this total darkness... no preparations, no celebration.... only plans... how i wish that it wouldn't be just plans.... ahhh... i feel so out of my element... and just wished to be struck by anything at anytime now... haizzzz.... is this all that i can do?... sigh... i don't know if I'd regret the choice i have made... the self- benefit, opposite friendship...well i think its just right to give some to myself... i will be at the legal age four or five days from now... and i do not feel happy nor overjoyed or jumping off my feet... i am bothered by all the things that is happening... and those that might happen soon... do i have to feel sorry?... in some ways i think, yes... but generally?... na-ah... i just have to look at it the better way..
this is just a test... and only i... know if i'd reach the passing rate... hahaha...
Happy 18th Birthday Me!!!!!!....=)

.,parting time?....

.,it was a sad and a lonely, rainy day... i was walking down an empty road which is so dark that anyone who passes by won't even recognize who i am.... and what i do.... some might even think i am out of my mind....or i'm crazy... i was slowly walking having nothing but myself... i, alone.... i am now fully wet... (no wonder, it rains and i don't have any protection....) tears fell down as i continuously walk near a very memorable place.... it is the place that we have dreamt of having.... that was, when she's still here.... and we're happy....

i love her very much... that i am so willing to do anything that i can for her... i have never thought of losing that special someone with me... that our love for each other might fade....''i remember the days when you're here with me... those laughters and tears we shared for years.... mem'ries that we had for so long its me and you... now you've gone away you left me all alone...." your memories keeps on haunting my mind.. i am trying to move on but i think it is so hard to restart...

"go on, do what you want... but please don't leave me you'll break my heart....hey what should i do? babe i'm missing you..." and then its the chorus...." i don't wanna lose you girl i need you back to me... i don't wanna lose you baby can't you see...." that song... i have heard someone sing that song before.... but i don't remember that person's identity... i feel so empty... my life feels so incomplete.... "i wish someday you'll be back home... coz i really miss you darling... please come home...." those were the last lines that i have heard her sang.... and it hit my heart so deeply... i wondered where i was... i don't know... i am really out of the real world... i am fantasizing of a thing that was not mine.... a thing that can never really be mine.... a thing that i wished was mine....

"Hoy angelo!!!.... aba tanghali na!!!.... alas sais na anong oras ka pa papasok?..." that's my mom.... malelate napala 'ko....

.,baliw...

Baliw

Dahan dahang lumalakad

Katawa'y nagsusugat

Mabato'ng daan, mainit,

Nag-aapoy, nagngangalit...

Tinatahak bawat hakbang,

Patuloy na naglalakbay...

Nagwawari kung nasaan

Patutunguha'y di alam...

Saglit lamang at nagdilim,

parating na ang takip-silim.

Hilahod na't gumagapang,

Kumikirot pa'ng kalamnan...

Walang nais na tumulong,

Ako lamang ang naroon...

Laging ganoon nag-iisa,

Walang nais na sumama...

Sino ako? Ako'y tao...

Iba nga sa paningin n'yo.

Mapanghusga itong mundo,

Saan pa ko patutungo?

Pagmamahal ay di alam,

Pagtitiwala'y naparam...

Mga pangarap nawaglit,

Di na alm san sisingit...

Bigla na lamang nag-amok,

Nag himutok ron sa sulok...

nakanti ng mga tambay,

Hindi na nakagulapay...

Bumabawi ng hininga,

Hingal na't iika-ika...

Katawa'y hapong-hapo na...

Bumagsak na't nagpahinga...

Pilit idinidilat yaring mga mata...

Ngunit saglit lamang, at tuluyan itong nag-sara...

Sa 'king mga huling sandali,

Luha lamang itong sukli...

.,nothing....

.,what the heck.... i don't know what are those things that i do need to say.... hahaha... is there such things as that?... well i'll just post a better one when i have my own "dream gadget" with me....hahaha... ('effect' says my only human friend/partner...) huh!?.... whatever!!!..... promise i'll post a more interesting blog next time... this was just an accident blog.... i have done an official thing right now....
c yah....=)