.,one day- isang araw....

.,labag man sa aking kalooban ngunit kinakailangan talaga na maganap ang bagay na ito ngaung panahong kasalukuyan.... hindi ko talaga ito gusto.... wala lamang akong ibang pagpipilian....
hindi ko makuhang magalit.... siguro nga masyado akong mabait.... hindi ako pumapatol masyado sa mga taong walang ibang intensyon kundi ang magmalaki at tanghalin ang sarili na nakahihigit kaysa sa iba.... (patawarin na ako ng nasa itaas ngunit ako'y tao, napupuno rin.... at kailangan maglabas ng sama ng loob....) nakalulungkot isipin na ang mga bagay ngayon sa aking buhay ay hindi tumatakbo ayon sa aking mga kagustuhan.... nakapanglulumo lamang na isipin ang mga bagay na ganito... kasalanan ko ba?..... wala naman akong masamang ginagawa.... hindi ko alam kung bakit ganun ang pakikitungo niya sa mga taong hindi ko alam kung ano... pinipilit kong makisama sa halos lahat ng uri ng tao.... yung mga taong ngayon ko lamang nakakahalubilo.... hindi siya marunong makiramdam.... hindi naman kami dumadaan sa madaling mga bagay.... gayunpaman inaasahan ko na rin kahit na papaano na mangyayari rin ang ganitong bagay.... pagsubok ang bawat araw na dumadating.... walang kasiguruhan kung ano ang naghihintay para sa akin.... hindi lahat nagtatagumpay sa bawat nilang hangarin pero patuloy pa rin sila sa kanilang paglalakbay..... paano ba mabuhay na ang mga bagay na nakapaligid sa iyo ay hindi mo hawak?..... kahapon nakapanood ako ng isang dokumentaryo.... tungkol iyon sa mga taong namuno sa isang mahinang bansa.... mahina nga ba?.... hindi ko alam.... at ayoko nang palawigin pa ang mga bagay ukol doon.... nakakapagbukas ng isip.... ayos lang sa akin na ganoon.... marahil nga ay naging malaking tulong talaga ang pagiging kristiyano ko ngayon.... unti unti.... kahit na maliliit na hakbang.... tumutuloy ako.... dahan dahan.... walang pakialam.... napakarami ng mga bagay ngayon na bumabagabag sa aking isipan.... hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.... naliligaw na naman ba ako?.... oh sadya akong lumalayo?..... paano ko ba haharapin ang bawat bukas na naghihintay sa akin..... napaka raming pagsubok.... napakaraming mga bagay na dapat gawin.... hindi ko alam kung magtatagumpay rin ba ako?.....
sana lang maintindihan nya yung mga bagay na kailangan talaga naming gawin.... sana lang talaga huwag naman siyang maging masyadong makasarili.... isipin man lamang niya yung ga tao na naka paligid sa kaniya.... oo mahina nga ako.... pero may tiwala ako sa Diyos.... ayokong sabihin na wala akong pakialam sa nararamdaman niya pero alam ko na sa bagay na yun may kasalanan pa rin ako kahit papaano..... sabi ko kanina "lumubog na ako...., hukayin nyo ako ulit...." nung mga panahong iyon talaga wala akong naiisip kundi ang pagkakalibing ng buhay.... (hindi sa literal na pananalita).... ngunit talagang nasaktan pa rin ako kahit iniisip ko na ayos lang iyon.... napakaraming dapat na gawin.... hindi ko alam kung papaano ko pagkakasyahin ang manipis kong katawan sa mas makitid pang daan.... paano nga ba?>.... Diyos ko tulungan Mo po ako..... hindi po ako karapatdapat ngunit hinihiling ko po na sana lang maging maayos ang lahat.... naniniwala po ako sa Unang Corinto 10:13.... ngayon ko lamang ito mababanggit dito.... 1Corinthians 10:13 Wala pang pagsubok na dumating sa inyo na hindi dinanas ng lahat ng tao, Tapat ang Diyos at hindi Niya ipahihintulot na kayo'y subukin ng higit sa inyong makakaya.... sa halip, pagdating ng pagsubok, bibigyan Niya kayo ng lakas upang mapagtagumpayan iyon....
lumuluwag na rin ang aking pakiramdam ngayon.... medyo maayos na.... ngunit medyo mahirap pa rin kalimutan.... bukas bagong araw na ba?.... ano nang naghihintay sa akin?.... hindi ko ito gustong isipin pero nagaganap.... basta bukas.... bago na ang araw.... hindi na yung ngayon oh kaya nung nakaraan.... Diyos na lang ang huhusga.... iniiwan ko na sa kaniya ang pagpapasya.... marami pang araw.... marami pang darating.... at patuloy akong maghihintay....

.,pressure...

.,this is a night....=?

.,a week ago...

.,It has been a week ago since I have posted my last blog.... I told you I was some kind of a hero volunteer for our intramural.... mwahahahaha...=) that's the term.... it was a very busy week for me.... and for my other classmates of course... but i don't want to compare works.... I wanted to post some blogs here but hey is that possible when there is no time available for me to do so... hahahaha..... I leave home at about eight or nine in the morning and stay at school for about 16hours straight.... doing volunteer works and at the same time checking out some things on our wellness unit (which was a success)...D*h.... I think the only thing that I can remember during the Intramural is that the day when I was totally haggard.... as in.... that was friday, I woke up looking for those Identification cards that I have photocopied.... and I was looking for nothing.... (gosh they're lost...) can't find them anywhere.... and here goes my friends who continuously texted me.... and yes I asked for some help.... I really prayed for those so much... and God is so good that he gave my friends to me... really.... they are heaven sent.... (ok, ok... just some...) hahaha.... my session mates ms.m and ms.g(monosodium glutamate!?....) and mi anghel dela guardia and the one...(yah know that....) oops thanks to joaqs... a lot.... hahaha.... that was such a day.... hahaha.... ofcourse, pastora.... how can I forget.... a blessing.... hahaha.... (hey I really can't find 'H' and 'G'.... ) hahaha... back to the topic.... yes they helped me finished those things.... thanks really to them.... hahaha...=) and to God of course.... thanks.... after that was the work, work and work.... the last day of the intramurals.... whoo.... we survived.... a lot of people... all different from each other all I found on that concert day..... I don't want to think of it..... hai.... I got home about one in the a.m. and hey that was the sixth time that I have done it..... and I thought that it was going to be the end.... hahaha.... well not.... there is still a tomorrow.... its a debut of a friend.... and I am going to talk about that later..... just need to find some friends right now on fs..... and this is what being a volunteer means.... "patience, energy, and time...." after?..,... of course... pain... and rest....

.,intramurals...

.,the clock reads five minutes past twelve in the midnight... well what is special about this day that I cannot even fall to sleep even if I feel a little exhausted (hey, haven't I repeated these words a thousand times!?)...
I went to school at about quarter to nine in the morning, it's one of my friend's birthday yesterday and he did not even showed up.... I don't know why... well, he said he won't come to school so my expectations were a lot limited, though I still wish that he will show up anytime that day...(but sorry... he did no, as i said earlier...) This day is not that heavy enough compared to what I did last Monday and Tuesday... well, I think this is the line of the week... "I feel exhausted"...
Start... I am working as an agent for our "wellness unit" wherein the forces of the first two sections of the second level-BSN is combined..... Others do massage(whole/part), some foot spa, manicure, pedicure, and we offer board games, music, art making, and then asking them to fill up a "research paper" that we are conducting together with/ thereafter the service... While we, as agents look for clients that will be provided by their chosen services... We look for individuals all around the campus...., hey, it is so tiring because of all the campuses of our "university" our campus is the largest in terms of land area(hahaha... people... It's an irony...) Thank God I have lots of connections with the other courses in our University and also, I have a lot of self confidence stored inside of me... Hahahaha....=) and that is for that part....

New addition to this blog is the so called 'former' hahaha... (is this also an irony!?...) we had our lunch together.... of course I paid for it... I need to pay some debts... haha.... It has been a long time since this thing happened.... I think about a year ago... We talked about lots of stuffs with regards to each other.... (I told you we haven't talked to each other for about one year... and yes its my fault...) know what i asked 'former' a question... "kilala pa ba kita!?.... (do I still know you!?....) and 'former' answered Oo naman, hindi naman ako nagbago...) (of course yes, I haven't changed since then....) I was not looking at zpg's face when he said that coz' i don't want to see that person's facial expression... I don't know.... and I answered back immediately.... "ako hindi mo na 'ko kilala...." ( You do not know much of me now....) zpg asked "panung hindi na kita kilala!?....(nagbago ka na ba!?.... Have you changed!?.... -something like that.... zpg wants to elaborate my answer....) coz' yes, I made it quite a little suspensive... hahaha..(what a word....)
I am right when I said that I do not know who he is already... really... I missed a lot of times.... well... that's really it.... where are regrets made for!?.... It always comes after the end....

.,start....

.,i do not really know what to say right now... my day is just simply boring... hahaha... got a lot of works to do plus a lot of favors needed to be paid in return... hahaha...=)
I do not want to blame anyone on where I am right now...I know that i can survive this week if I just do focus with those things that are needed to be accomplished by the given time limit... hahahaha...=) oh God... I really do need so much time for rest... I do not have time with friends... and also for my family... well what can i do!?... I chose to be here... hahaha...=) no regrets must come.... hahaha.... Warning: Regrets not allowed....=) focus.... don't get tired and manage everything.... whew... (easy to say right!?...=) what should I do... I want to spent some time with that person but hell I cannot... and the other person also to pay some debts which I have made for a long time.... hahaha.... I need to catch up... or else I might be left alone.... =)



so help me God...

.,another long day....

.,I wonder how i survive everyday that is passing by.... hahaha... honestly.... I always feel so ehausted.... I don't know.... I am a volunteer for this Intramurals.... I started helping the officers yesterday and I say that is really what I call 'work'... hahaha.... I won't enumerate what are those that I did, (humble=)... hahaha...=) good'luck.... we are all in duty today... and it was really exhausting.... hahaha...=) i am really tired right now but I really need to do this.....
that was a very memorable opening for me.... that was the time when I realized, "Hey, I'm part of this...." hahaha...=) that was the time when I felt that this is my university... that we are one in our world... sometimes I still think 'why i did let my self volunteer...' hahaha... but I realized, that this is just a one in a million experience that I am surely going to treasure..... hahaha...=) that was a very nice start for us.... (i include myself there...=) hahaha...=) some people always say that we can't enjoy the Intramurals.... asking why we volunteered but, if there is a lot million reasons to quit, well i should have done that earlier.... hahaha... but no.... I am happy with where I am... with what I am doing.... I am happy helping others help the university.... atleast I am spending my time with worthy things.... not just like others who just fool around...=)
hahaha...=)
I love it when I see them happy... that they are satisfied with what we have done.... hahaha...=)





This is really a very day.... hahaha...=) I have had some reconciliations made.... hahaha...=) I think this should have not taken that long.... hahaha...=) I don't know.... that pride is such an isht.... hahaha...=) I hate it...... that was a year ago since we last talked to each other.... hahaha.... i am also a martyr.... hahaha...=) I have really controlled my feelings that long... am I bad!?.... hahaha.... he said 'sorry', which I should have never permitted.... I am the one who owe that person an apology and i never did... hahha... it is not that important anymore.... on who did what.... hahaha... what is important is that... we are already fine.... I just feel incomplete during those times.... hahaha... well i admit it, its my fault.... or I own a part there... hahaha...=) at least now it ended.... and I am ready to make a new start.... hahaha...=) I just hope that that would not happen anymore.... hahaha...=) how I really wish.... hahha...=) well good'luck to both of us.... I just hope God will guide our relationship as friends.... that that evil be not present on our life.... he's not angry with me.... hahaha.... I really idolize that person.... hahaha... we are totally different.... he is a person of few pride... hahaha...=) non sense!?.... hahaha.... I've taken so much time here on the shop.... and I'm already feeling my bed near me... hahaha...=) I need to sleep.... I still have a work to do tomorrow... I am an agent... hahaha...=) isn't that nice!?...
Good night now.... till next time...=)

.,call me by name...

.,I am baptized by this name(michaelangelo)... It's not my choice nor do i wanted it already then... This is what the priest said "that this child will now be called by the name michaelangelo..." Well, am I?... It was bunso back then, called by my titas , mi mama y papa... and sometimes by lolo and lola( grandma& grandpa...)... shortened to 'ike', its/ayke/ and it was by my mama.... 'ke' by my ate(sister), my kuya(eldest brother) and diko(elder brother)... I was called anak when I started growing up.... Reaching school age.. I have not lost those classmates who have my name as theirs... (Hey, thats mine!!, I bought it....) hahaha.... From kinder, I think up to 6th grade then.... I don't waht to utter names, well it's 'michaelangelo or Michael Angelo' for sure!!....=)
Luckily then, reaching my first year in secondary education, I was the only one having it... hahaha... Now that's what I call "my own".... But not so long.... It was a calamity upon reaching the next year... some irregular, totally opposite something have my name!... damn... hahaha...., really... that was Michael Angelo 'with a space'... Changed my name back that time... cause michaelangelo with 'a no-space' was written, or rather typed on my birth cert. .... just to have some change... atleast be a little different....
But human as they are, they don't know how to write a correct draft of my name... And so I always say... "it's not me..., I don't have any space between those...." (between michael and angelo...) they are used to writing 'Michael Angelo' and 'Michael angelo'.... What the!!.....
Sorry for me but they're that... hahaha....
It was me and michael Angelo until the day of our graduation... I found it better than my elementary years which, I think have three or four of michael angelos' in the class... (they call me 'Angeles' ... not that musical to my ears) And it sometimes irritates me when they(my classmates) play jokes on us by calling 'michael' simultaneously, and all of us will look back... funny?... hell not!... Try to be on my place... ok that was back far from then...
Proceed to the tertiary level... that was quite a smooth start... hahaha.....=) There's a slightly larger change that happened hahaha... There's still a 'michael' but yah know this... we have our different second names...(well for him... but michaelangelo is just a single name considering its format...) Do i need to tell who he is?.... hahaha...=) Is it alright to say, 'better half' of mine... 'better coz' I think he's really better... hahaha.... or shall I say the best.... hope ya'll not read this.... you... and half coz' we're 'michaels'.... Intelligent enough, i used angelo as my primary one... hahahaha...=) and I call him by his second name.... "as other people say, let change start with 'I'... (I will change)... "L"... not so long... I will cut your happiness said someone... "from now on, I declare to this class.... that this person be called... ''ABANIKO''.... (that is, a fan...) It was so hot in our room that I always borrow 'abaniko' from my classmate(s).... and it was inflamed when I brought my mother's fan...(the one she uses when we go to church during sundays....) Know that?.... waaaaahhhh..... That's not my name!!!... It started funny.... I was then a little unhappy... little horns sprang out... hahaha... but guys..., I got used to it.... sadly, I never knew that this soon to be a lady was going to leave the country.... that's sad... (huhuhu)....
It reached second semester and some still was influenced by her 'stinky nick' baptized on me.... hahahaha...=) But, thank God others started to call me by the name which is a good music to my ears... tadah....(gerund!... as my professor said)... "Angelo!!!.." hahaha.... atlast... I heard it .... mwahahahaha...=0 I say she had a huge impact when she was here... oh I feel so sad right now... I miss that entity so much... hahaha...(but not her calling me "a" hahaha... bitter?)....
And so its summer... new faces... new friends.... wondering how i got that funny=) nick name... I told them that it came from a muddy cliff... ahhaha....=) Ok, second year, first semester... This girl... She snatched my surname!.... hahaha...=) and she calls me by the name which came from that nick which is a shorter version of the former!!!!.... And hei, neither do I like it... Guys sorry... hahaha..=) "hey!!!...EVEYONE, DON'T MAKE NAMES!!!!!!!!...." hahaha....=) I'm not angry or anything.... hahaha. I just want my name...=) please!!!.... I beg you... hahaha... But not like how ,my father calls me when we are going to eat lunch or dinner or any meal time.... "michaelangelo!!... mamaya na yan, kain na.... (michaelangelo, just do that later{or that can wait}, common' let's eat {now}...) Am i choosy!?... hahaha...=) mi anghel dela guardia calls me mazurka(that is a dance step), angel-o, and whew I can't think of others....
Just call me angelo, or whatever is that what you want.... BUT I COMMAND EVERYONE.... hahaha.....(joke=) I prefer 'angelo' please!...=) call me by name... call me your friend... but not just something from somewhere.... peace guys=)....

.,another one.. same date, but earlier time... it's 1:30am..

.,my ate(sister) called.... we have not talked for less than a month before this ring... we talked about a lot of things about what is happening on us...we are both busy with our own worlds... actually all the people inside our home.... Know what?... i wonder if it still is...

A lot of stuffs separates our house together....except from the walls!!...=) haha.... funny?....nope...
I wake up in the morning with nobody at home.... and so then i leave... returning mostly at night, i get home just to eat and sleep... i don't even reach home with the people there awake... and so we don't see each other.... maybe checkin' me when I'm asleep... and that's the only time we'll keep....

Know what!?.... i sometimes get jealous of those people who finds joy in everything they do.... those who are happy on every person they are with.... what can i do!?.... ask me.... haha... I have had interacted with a lot of different individuals yesterday afternoon(and also today.. just a little earlier).... they are all fine... but not finessed.... haha.... I'm bad, i'm telling you... 20+ different individuals unknown isn't that easy to handle.... well, sorry for me... haha... well it''s just past two a.m now on my clock... haha... too 'early' to sleep.... what an i gonna do!?.... hei... my eyes are being heavy now... and like what i have said, its still a long day later(reminder: wrote this 1:30am....) need to catch up and get some energy... what now!?... what more!?....
just good morning.... and sweet dreams to me.....

.,saved on my fone, 13sept.'08...,2:32am...

.,i hear the tick tock of the clock, but i don't feel taking a nap... my eyes are tired from crying,
my body- exhausted from working, and my mind of course is tired from thinking.... it already stopped raining after four days of continuous showering..... I don't feel cold but i am putting myself under the blanket... i don't know why but i think i feel safe whenever i am there.... and with all my four pillows around me....
i wonder how other people spend their nights... If they fool around, sleep soundly(well, you can take this literally...=), or if they are doing anything else out of my imagination....

I've texted with someone a few hours ago... know what that person said?.... sbi nya sa'kin, "mahal kita... mahal mo ba q!?..." (I love you...., do you love me too!?....), i was totally shocked then.. Although that person always say those words to me, but now, not the usual thing.... i replied and said, "lasing ka ba!?.... oh tanga ka lang!?...." (are you drunk {alcoholic drinks/beer}!?.... or are you just really dumb!?....) u know my words.... hahaha...=) and then that person answered back.... "ndi aq lasing.... mahal m b q.... pwede bng mging tau!?..." (i have not drunken anything.... do you love me!?.... can we be more than friends!?....{or have a deeper relationship...}... know what i've said?.... i told that entity, "anuh bang gus2 mng sabihin q!?...." (what do you want me to say!?....) natawa siya....and i know it...(kc sabi nya "hehehe")... sumagot ako ng maikling, "oo na cge na...".... nagreply xa... sabi nya, "yes!... sa wakas!!...." (atlast!!!...)... then tinawag nya qng, 'mahal ko'... shocks!!.... nakakasuka pala...(i feel like i am vomiting anytime by the time i've read those words...) baduy eah, weird!...(i feel like its out of this world....) i did not know that it was going to be the last time na mag tetext xa.... tpos bigla na lang sumagi sa isip quh....(and then something just snapped into my mind...) "teka, cnu na nga ba un!?....
wala naman siya sa fonebuk quh ah!!!..."=)...(wait a minute, that number{person or whatever ya'll call it} is not on my phonebook{contacts} i wonder who that person is....=)

.,do you believe in horoscope(s)!?...

Friendster Horoscope for September 13, 2008

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)[?]
The Bottom Line

A lot can be communicated with nonverbal communication, so let your eyes talk!

In Detail

An awful lot can be communicated with nonverbal communication, so let your eyes and your body do all your talking today. Instead of tossing off a flirty comment, why not just give 'em a wink? You'll make your point a lot faster and more creatively. But this plan shouldn't just be put to use in romantic contexts. Even in business meetings or other professional environments, you should try to say things with as few words as possible. You'll make your point a lot more clearly.



hahaha...=) is this just a coincidence!?..... or there is really something!?.....
what's with this day!?.... hahaha...=)
this is weird.... quite.... dunno.... this is really a 'day'!!!...=)

.,few things...

.,everyday is always a game i play. i don't know if i can win it upon reaching the end. i am not that courageous to face each and every part of the game, yet, i continue moving. passing through the tunnels of life has always been difficult. I wonder how everybody faces each and every portion of life... some gives up , but others continues to fight... I have met a lot of people whom I've made memories with... some, I've made good relationships with, and a few whom I've commanded to move away. i make decisions without thinking of the 'cons'.... so, i always fall down to regret those decisions...

A lot of people just 'always' go with the flow, even if it is happiness, love, hurt or anger.... They don't make efforts to paddle, to stop for a while and think. No one is perfect, yes i know that.... But this is different from the people who think.... once you go with the flow, you cannot control it from carrying you all through the place you don't even know what or where.... But if you try to paddle once the flow is rushing, you can control the flow and you can choose the place to where you want to go.... We cannot escape from the fact that we commit mistakes, but then we always do those even unconsciously or not.... 'Learn from your mistakes' as some other people say but why is that a lot always commits the same over and over... Is man created inherently fool!?.... Of course not!... We are created with rationality, that is why we can think and reason out, it's just that we do not use what we have, and that causes the problem.

Are doors possible to close!?.... even if its all the time wide open!?....what do you think!?.... the answer... yes, obviously yes.... every road that we travel through life has an end... patience, care, trust or even love can end.... so thus the door through it can close anytime; on the time we don't expect that it would come.... So what will you do when it is now closed!?.... are you gonna try to open it back!?... well, if it is your fault why it closed, you should!!.... or even if it isn't you must try to.... Like what i have learned, that 'pride' is a vice, and a vice isn't good for it is out of man's morality. what are you going to have when you use it!?....When you use it more than you should!?.... You'll surely have nothing!!.....

you can even lose everything....

Forgive and forget, we always say that it is just easy to utter but it's hard to do or to apply... well, why don't we try to!?...If this is not yet the right time then when will it be!?....There are no short cots through life, its always a long way process.... it is always a 'start' and it might take a very long time to reach the 'end'... the finish line.... learn to treasure what you have right now... appreciate every bit of your life; positive or negative, significant or not... Everything has their own value, its just that somethings are really more valuable than the other.... But, admit it, every detail in this world is important... Everything , every creature has their own purpose in life.... Every event; every situation happens for a reason.... It's just that somethings don't really tell us 'for what' or 'why so'!?....

Change; this is what the world needs... true and sincere love, honesty, care, all the good things that a man; every person must have..... and of course, God..... Faith to God...=)

-angel-o....=)

.,it's my first day....=)

.,hey.... its my first day.... birthday ni yaya ngaun.... well in fairview naman sa kanya tinireat nya kaming lahat...=) masaya naman kaso cmple.... i wanted it to be more special than just the normal one.... a spectacular and marvelous and fabulous daw .... binubulong ng guardian angel quh....=)

oh nga pala matagal aquh mag ol..... i wanted to have this blog a long time ago.... now, its fulfilled.....

hahaha....=)

gudlak naman..... wala pa quhng gawa sa speech..... lahat kami sa comshop cguro wala pang gawa.....

kasama namin c pane, pero seriously, i feel a gap...... uhhhhh.....

'why daw sabi ni guardian angel.... cguro kasi its been a lot while na wala na xa.... i miss her and her cousin.... pati c ghelou.... kainis....

pero totoo talaga..... ayan may tauhan na quh sa blog quh.... madadagdagan pa toh 4 sure..... well, wish quh lang sana.... everything will go the way God wants it to be....'binulong ulit ni guardian angelllll.....=) sana lagi na lang ganito.... ok lahat.... i think.....

->angel-o...=) [with guardian angel...=)]