.,jealousy...=)

"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. "
.,what a word?.... does this mean anything?.... hai... i wish i am never the one i am right now.... hahahaha.....=) kidding... i don't know but i am getting jealous of somethings.... about things that i have never felt before... all the in the world is a plain vagabond... they just travel by and by.... i do not know what had caused me to feel this way... on the first place i have nothing to hold on to... to prove to anyone anything... Huh?.... got that?.... hahaha... yes i feel jealous... but not so much... i am not in a relationship where in i do have a great access... yah know it... well, this is what i feel and i am a human being... this is just normal right?.... well just do not cross the line.... hahaha.... i get jealous but i do not really know why.... does it mean that i am really loving or what?.... i do not trust myself... i think that's it...? i have so many things to do and yet i am thinking of unworthy things.... of selfless feelings.... right?....

mood swings... these are the ones i am having.... i do not know how to control this.... i am holding me... i must know how.... there are a lot of things that happened during these past few days.... i do not know if those are really meant to happen but i believe that we have surpassed all of those.... today is a new day.... i am thinking to give her up.... or to stay.... hei.... i won't.... we still have a long way to go.... and where ever the wind goes i will follow.... i will not give up.... i will fight and try to get rid of this thing that is within me right now.... this damn thing... that makes my world sink.... hahaha...=) i seem to be happy but i am not..... sometimes i show what i feel to those who are affecting me.... hei i don't want to be plastic.... just want to be real... this is me.... what can i do?.... i don't want to hide to people what i really do feel....
i still have so much time to think of stuffs.... (to think things out....) whatever!!!..... que sera sera....