Memoirs...

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." - Anne Frank

.,I have had a lot of stories running through my mind this past few weeks of blog-rest (shall I call it)... I just ran out of words I guess?...

I have come up into something I have not realized before or even gave a little attention with... I thought I have already known the ways of life; how it goes, its 'rights and wrongs', the ups and downs, even one's purpose and up to the time of a person's last deep breath... not until I have it right in my very eyes... In the weakest part of my body- my Heart.

12 days ago, our second day of duty at JPMH around 7:45 pm- has been the most critical hour of my hospital-life so far... I have never thought that I would be dealing with such situation ever in my wildest and most fearful nightmares... Yes, it was a nightmare. A nightmare which I have wished to be a gay dream but sorry for me, it was not. My Patient died. Simple as it may sound, but that four-letter word can change the walks of everything.

Hours before that incident, I have experienced a number of firsts for a semester and a fourth of hospital duty... When I have heard that I will be reassigned with the same patient at the Isolation Room, I have felt mixed emotions then... I thought it wouldn't be that difficult for me to make assessments, and that it would be easier for me to do charting and SOAPIEs (Its what I love doing the most, I am making a novel out of it). I also felt a little unhappy with it, knowing that for the second time, I am dealing with the difficult task of making Tatay be able to regain strength or maybe just feel a little better than he was the other day... My partner and I cleaned up the mess that Tatay have just made... Y'all know it. It was my first and I guess her first too, we have just communicated with our eyes and contacted each other with blinks and breathes... We have changed soiled Linens and diaper, and did TSB with TLC after(he's febrile that time). It was all my first.

After the dinner break and while we were having fun at the Nurse's Station which is just situated on the right side of the ISO and while our C.I. was discussing about something with corny jokes, my Patient's relative called our attention and said that Tatay was having a difficulty in breathing... we rushed into the room, Sir M taking the BP... 90/60, 60/palpatory... The unbelievable Doctor arrived walking in... Stethoscope here, here, here and one there...

"Wala na s'ya" (He's gone), the Resident 'Doctor' said emotionlessly.

Ate Barbara (Tatay's Daughter-in-law) lost control of herself and she have just cried... I was trying to hold back my tears... I don't know what to do... I walked into her and tapped her shoulders and her back.. that's all that I can do to show her how much I care... to empathize.
I was tasked to do Post Mortem Care then, I seem to be floating in the sea of nowhere when I was trying to get the towel from our Head Nurse. One stroke, I'm fine... Second stroke, I'll be Ok... This is what's running in my skeptic mind... I can't help it, I just cried... I saw droplets of tears falling from my weary eyes... tired of seeing people suffering from the hardships of life. I tried to close Tatay's eyes, it won't shut... I know he still wants to live.

"Tatay mag-iingat po kayo dun", those were the last words I whispered to his ears. I know he heard me... right?

I have just remembered, the night before we were talking (My group mates/Friends and I) while at the back of the hot Van while staring at the bright moon and the dark skies painted with glowing stars...

"Ry pag namatay ka tapos nabuhay ka ulit ano gusto mo maging?" (I have already forgotten her answer).

"Eah ikaw Ate Shee?", I asked them one by one... She replied, "Dagat. Eah ikaw Ava?"

"Gusto ko maging ulap... Langit", I uttered while looking up the beautiful night sky.

"Ang emo mo talaga Ava", that's Jobelle to me.

I always wanted to be the Heavens up above the sky... (Partly because its blue) but the real reason is that... the clouds have their own emotions with them... It travels everywhere... It 's never gone... They're always up there... Giving shade when there's so much light and gives way to light when the place is so dark... It rains when its feeling heavy and forms different shapes on its glory... :) I love it when it paints a rainbow and when the colors fade from red to orange and from violet to blue.... I love the Sunset-clouds; it marks the end of a wonderful day and I also love Sunrises- it means an awaiting great life ahead.

Life has changed a lot for me... I always see Tatay's eyes at night when I shut mine, I always remember his face when I sit to eat on the morning plate, I feel Tatay's warm skin when I am drying my body... I have just come into realization that this is what I am in to... this is what will I do, this is really an inevitable part of life, one of the hardest part of my Future Profession.

I don't want to experience or see another kind of Life and Death situation again, or do I still have to give all of me when caring for my patients and get so attached? I don't want to get hurt, but I know I won't feel I am happy when I don't know the difference of the two.

Life, Change, Death and Memories... For that day and that day only. Farewell Tatay! Take Care.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy amidst the simple beauty of nature. -Anne Frank

Hundred wordless reasons...

.,I've got a million innumerable reasons to be thankful for another year added in my life... but I still have more about me that is needed to be fixed and be placed on their righteous places... and some to be simply corrected... I want to confess everything to this one Person... but I'm afraid of the possible consequences... I am still immature of some stuffs I must say... or am I still a coward doing the shadow fight...

well, I still have rooms for Improvement... I don't expect for anything more or something better... I am just so... so thankful that I am experiencing to live this wonderful life on this continuously changing world....

Happy happy!.. :D


[Gonna be updated tomorrow...]

Ang Ika Labing-tatlo

.,Marami nang masyado ang mga naganap sa nakalipas na dalawang linggong mahigit na pagpapahinga ko sa isang gawaing lubos kong kinagigiliwang tupdin.
Ikalawang araw ng paglilingkod-serbisyo para sa isang aralin sa aking kurso (ang muling pagbabalik ng nakalipas na delubyo? hindi na siguro...) , hindi ko masasabing lubha akong natutuwa sa mga nangyayari sa aking buhay habang patuloy na umiikot ang mundong aking ginagalawan ngunit kung susukatin at titingnan sa maliwanag na bahagi nito masasabi kong mapalad pa rin ang nilalang na patuloy na naghahanap sa mabubuti at magagandang bahagi ng isang sitwasyon, bagay, o pangyayari.

Mahigit isang linggo na ang nakalipas simula ng ako'y makalipat ng klaseng aking pinapasukan, hindi ako ganoon kasaya simula noong mga nakalipas na panahon, ngayon- bagong mga mukha, ilang mga paikot-ikot na pag-uugali, at di mabilang na pakikisalamuhang kailangang buuin unti-unti... sa mga desisyong aking ginawa wala naman akong pinag sisisihan ni- isa man sa mga iyon... may mga bagay lamang na kailangan talagang talikuran sa halip na pagtiisan ito at mag sisi habang nasa sitwasyong iyon... nakakapanghinayang nga lamang isipin na kaakibat ng mga desisyong ito, minsan kailangan nating isakripisyong mahiwalay sa mga taong napalapit rin sa iyo kahit papaano... pagkakaibigang kailangang pansamantalang mapawi para sa ikabubuti ng aming sarili...

Sa pag-iwas sa isang sitwasyon, hindi lahat ng mga nilalang na nakilala natin noong mga panahong nagdaan ay masaya para sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ng iba, may mga taong makikitid ang pagpapahalaga sa mga pinagsamahang mga pagkakataon; biro man o totoo ang mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng tao ay lubhang makapangyarihan na kaya nitong paikutin at baligtarin agad ang pakikitungo ng isa sa iba... lalo na kung sa mga salitang iyon, hindi tuwa bagkus ay pagkamuhi ang iyong madarama.

May mga pangyayaring madalas ay idinidikit ng tao sa kanilang pang-araw araw na pamumuhay, mga karanasang pinaniniwalaang nagdudulot ng kung anong bagay na mahirap maipaliwanag... Halimbawa na lamang ngayon ang paggamit ko ng wikang Filipino sa aking katha... walang sinuman ang makapagsasabi kung bakit oh paano, oh ano man ang koneksiyon nito sa aking nararamdaman...

"hindi lahat ng anghel nasa langit... ngunit hindi rin ibig sabihin na kahit bumaba sila o manatili sa lupa ay hindi na sila maaaring tubuan ng kahit katiting na umbok sa kanilang mga ulo- mga matutulis na bagay na hindi mo gugustuhing makita sa kanila.. na sa halip na isang bilog itong nagliliwanag, huwag na lamang... iyon na nga.."

ni minsan sa tahimik kong isip, hindi ko nawari na makakagawa ako ng mga bagay na hihigit sa kung ano lamang ang nararapat nitong hangganan... higit lalo na sa isang walang kalaban-labang nilalang... nakakaawa... ngunit hindi ko iyon naramdaman, bagkus ay para akong naligayahan...

hindi inasahan ng sinuman sa kanila na kaya kong gawin ang ganoong klaseng bagay... upang putulin ang mapalabok na kwento, ganito ang nangyari...

Isang kaibigan ang nakursunadahan kong makalokohan, hindi naman ako napikon, sino nga ba ang nauna? ang paglalagay ng nadurog na pulbo sa isang itim na pantalon ay labis kong ikinagalak... at sa sobrang tuwa ko, naisip kong pumatol... minsan lang naman eah... makahanap lang ito ng katapat.. :) lumayo siya, akala niya tapos na, ngunit nag uumpisa pa lamang ako... dumakot ako ng mga nadurog na pulbo sa sahig gaya ng sa kaniya at hinawakan ko ang dalawa niyang kamay ng sobrang higpit gamit lamang ang kanan kong kamay, sinigurado kong mararamdaman niya ang higpit nito at pagkatapos? ibinuhos ko sa kaniyang ulo ang pulbong nakuha ko...
tapos na? hindi pa... habang hawak siya ng mahigpit, parang halos kinaladkad ko siya papunta doon sa mga pulbong natapon, nakapulot na ako muli ngunit nakapiglas siya... hindi ako tumigil dahil wala naman siyang mapupuntahan eah... sinundan ko siya, muling hinawakan ng sobrang higpit, umaaray na siya at sinasabing ayaw na niya ngunit wala akong naririnig, mas hinigpitan ko ang hawak at ipinahid ang pulbo sa kaniyang pantalon... walang kapalag-palag... walang tumutulong ngunit may isang umaawat.. naaawa na marahil sa sinasapit ng kaawa-awang nilalang na iyon... hindi pa ako tapos, muli ko siyang halos kaladkarin papunta sa pulbong nagkalat sa sahig, pilit ko siyang pinauupo, ayaw? hindi pwedeng ayaw... pinilit ko siyang maupo... inilapit sa pulbo upang magmarka lalo iyon sa kaniyang pantalon... sumisipa, pumapalag, hinawakan ko ang dalawa niyang paa at hinatak papunta sa sahig na natapunan ng pulbo... inilampaso ko siya roon at hindi ako tumigil hangga't hindi napupuno ng dumi ang kaniyang pantalon... nang ayos na ako at nagliwanag ang isip sa mga pag pigil ng mga kasama namin sa silid na iyon lumayo ako at nakitang ubod ng dumi ng kaniyang damit... namumuti ang kaniyang buhok at talagang hindi mo gugustuhing ikaw ang mapunta sa sitwasyon ng kaawa- awang nilalang...

Natapos iyon at may halong tuwa akong naramdaman. una ito... ngayon ko lang naranasang maging halos demonyo sa harap ng mabibilang mong tao, isa pa, ang guro namin ay nasa di kalayuan... mas nadagdagan ang "thrill" kumbaga...

sabi ko nga, hindi lahat ng 'angel' halo ang nasa ulo, minsan may mga pagkakataon na buntot ang tumutubo sa likod naman nito...
Nagulat silang lahat.. talagang hindi nila inaasahan na magiging ganoon ako kumilos... siguro ni sa hinagap hindi nila naiisip na kaya kong gawin ang ganoon kademonyong bagay... well, anong araw na nga ngayon?... Ikalabingtatlo... hindi sana ako naniniwala sa ganito, kaya lang... may minalas nga eah... paano ba yan?... paumanhin na lang sa kaniya.. hayaan mo... pwede naman natin iyong ulitin... sa susunod putik naman ipapahid ko sa'yo... oh kaya ibabad kita sa kumukulong mantika...

Isa pa nga pala, sabi ng guro namin dati may ibig sabihin ang "MARA" sa ibang lengguwahe, ayoko na lang sabihin... pero Maligayang Kaarawan sa'yo! yun lang ang punto...

eksakto... ngayon ay Ika Labing-tatlo, isa pa muling Labing-tatlo- hindi ko na mahintay, kahit na alam kong wala namang magiging bago... tatanda pa ko... haaaayyyy buhay... Life!

Going to the Metro... :D

.,what do i know about the metro aside from its the Capital of the country?... ugh... don't ask me... I ain't know everything... I'm just so exited, and I just can't hide it... I know, I know, I know I want you... I want you... :) LOls...

After so long, I can now have an escape from the rural living... I can see other things aside from the four corners of my room, the walls of the house, and the fields in front overlooking the Hospital...

I cannot be able to hear the chirping of the birds nor the crowing of the rooster for the nth time... I will be busy looking at the grand buildings again plus the Manila Bay... Pass the MOA of course and hear the noise of the busy streets of Manila... The smoke belching jeepneys and buses and the choo choo of the train while making our way through the underpass...

Hello Manila!... Wc to me.. :D from a Country boy, to a City man... :)

Beginning dump of physical memory...

"The 'only' fair thing in our world is its unfairness... and its uncertainties are the 'only ones' which we can be ascertain of..."

I don't really know what's wrong with my pc... it always says this line for about every 15 or 20 minutes and heck i have to restart my computer over again... i am getting sick of it and i don't know what to do... i have searched for remedies and possible solutions on the net and have tried doing some of the suggestions, thanks but no thanks cause none of them are functional...

i have opened a tab and searched for one, and another and another... argggghhhh.... i am getting over of this... i'll just bring this on the shop later... I know I am still a computer retarded in one way or another... I tried to find solutions myself thinking that I might not need to waste my time on dealing with the unpleasing personalities of those men in the repair shop... but duh, I still have a lot to 'learn more' about.

I have a broken pc, a broken cp, I am thinking of my grades whether i'd be able to pass as an academic scholar (but if not its still ok... at least I will be able to continue studying for the next sem. with fair- if not high grades...); I am thinking whether I can be able to transfer from one section to another this coming sem. (cause i am sick of the reading routine); I need to go to my Alma Mater to get a copy of my TOR (which I thought i have already submitted when I entered the University); I have not helped a friend in need which causes my heart to start cracking right now (oh gosh its financial! what can i do?); I have an Aunt in the hospital, Cancer- the prognosis; My Tita from Japan will be arriving this Sunday and heck my mom is cramming... Asking me to wash beautiful plates, prepare stuffs- like what to wear and what to bring, fixing a room for our guest- changing linens, cleaning the house- removing weeds which have sprouted all over the backyard (thanks for the rain), and a lot of other preparations to be done as if the Prime Minister of Japan is the one coming...

I have had a long busy week during the final examinations and I thought that i would be able to have a loooonnng rest now because its already our semestral break but nah, sorry for me... I am expecting to have the trip of my life next week... I and my Tita will be having the 'teen' bonding...
For the longest time, I will be able to live out of my box..

I need to go to school at 1pm, I am getting my class card from a 'very productive' subject matter, and I expect to have a well-deserved grade- but not as much expectations as my friends have for me...
I hope to meet one of my favorite C.I. today coz' i want to see my grades in her subject just to know how i was doing all those times... I know I perform well-enough. She's my last hope, the rope who can pull me up, out of the mud where I have sank... from the woman who have buried half of my body...

I just want things to be fine now... When can the world be fair?... I don't know, cause...


"The 'only' fair thing in our world is its unfairness... and its uncertainties are the 'only ones' which we can be ascertain of..."

Pop in..

"Just smile in times of trouble."

I just want to drop by and visit my dear blog...

I was reviewing for a quiz (tomorrow) when i saw the link through my blog {which is bookmarked on top of my net browser.. :D of course for an easy access :).. } and have decided to post something to ease my boredom..

Lately, the reports have been talking so much about the typhoons that have hit and is currently penetrating the 'Philippine Area of Responsibility'.. (see, i learned something!...:) The daily news (which was normally airing on weekdays) have also taken the time to work and share stories during/ on weekends... I felt so sad for those families and individuals who was greatly affected by the calamity... those who have lost all the important belongings they've had before, whether it be material things or even a loved one. I have thought of what had happened a few weeks ago, the time when it have rained with bits and pieces of ice falling with the rainwater... Now, after all the flooding Ondoy have created... here follows Pepeng with threatening strong winds...

Is Mother Nature making revenge?... For all the filthy things we, human beings have done and are continuously doing... Not to mention what had happened to the American Samoa and also to Indonesia... All this catastrophes and unwanted phenomena happened because of certain reasons and whatever those reasons maybe I know, for sure... that there are people or say individuals behind all this disastrous events... there are entities responsible for all these things that is happening... and during the payback time, who's to be blamed?... where are we headed?...

Thousands of families have been affected, millions worth of investments have been washed away... are we going to wait for billions of total damages to happen before we start to change?...
On our own simple ways... I know we can help... not only helping other people or helping Mother Nature... we must first start to help ourselves.

Filipinos have this certain attitude which makes them unique and different from the other nationalities... which makes me be certain that whatever happens... Everything will all be fine.

"Just smile in times of trouble." -We may not see the pain at a glance... but we can see the tears running when you gaze...

P.S.

The 'Finals Week' is nearly coming and i still have no idea what will happen. I have only taken a peep on one of my lectures... I still have a lot more to read... I know I don't simply need to learn everything, but instead I have to understand them one at a time...

The game is just starting, I mustn't play safe... I need to play good... (or maybe do better? or great?)

May God Bless Me... God Bless the People... and God Bless my Country... :)

Godspeed!


- Happy Birthday Franan!... and Happy Birthday Tita Susan... :D

Have forty winks!..

I love it when the rain falls so unhurriedly...
with the cold and smooth wind blowing all throughout my body...
with the comfort of the mattress, the pillows and the blanket...

I wanna lay down my thoughts... my eyes stopped blinking... before it went to have forty winks...


and now, I'm asleep...

-I have thought of doing my homework but i feel my bed is pulling my body... my pillows dragged and dropped me... :D

how can i fight the insensitivity?...

Water pls. with crushed ICE...

"Guys! Guys! Tingnan nyo, Umuulan ng yelo!!!..." (Guys! guys! look, it's raining men, oh i mean ICE!!!)

.,The weather has been so humidly hot all throughout the day, it was 5:20pm and we were just dismissed from our last subject (one of my favorite! welcome back Ma'am M!) Lightnings and Thunders disturbed our consciousness, we were just talking about how we can solve our problem with one of our teachers and then the wind blew hard... its cold... the heavens went dark and whoala! The heavy rain fell... Literally, it is thus HEAVY... The blinding lightning is accompanied by a very deafening thunder... the branches of the trees sway with the wind... the non-pliant ones were brought back down to the grounds...

"Ano ba yan nagbabagsakan na yung mga bunga ng Talisay sa bubong..." (The fruitlets of the Talisay tree are continuously falling down the roof.) "ang ingay!" (What a noise!) We were on the Student center then... a waiting area made for us, students... Good thing it does have a roof for shelter but not walls for hard blowing winds and splashes of water from the rain... my eyes were wide open to see such once in a lifetime experience...

while we were thinking of ways on how to manage the situation and not to get all soaked and wet, suddenly i heard someone said, "Guys! Guys! Tingnan nyo, Umuulan ng yelo!!!..." (Guys! guys! look, it's raining men, oh i mean ICE!!!)

WTF... really?... is this really happening?.. I was amazed by nature... unexpectedly, the rainwater is falling- with crushed ice... I picked some of it and duh it was cold... (of course its ice!) I smiled and decided to get my cp... (unfortunately, it was EMPTY BAT!, ahhhh shoot!) I was not able to capture some pictures or even a video of it... we were stranded and we're all so wet by that time but it doesn't matter anymore... Seeing tons of crushed ice falling from the heavens outweighed the uncomfortable feeling of being all soaky wet... This is the first time I have seen such phenomenon... 5:40pm: we were still at the student center laughing about our situation...

The University, for just an hour or so was a little flooded; a happening which has never been so new to me, even for other students...

Damn, I still feel disappointed. If my phone has just not broke by the time i needed it most... I would've documented what had happened...

After the hard and heavy rain we've then decided to continue what we've planned to do just before that incident happened- Malling :D

After, we walked our way to the terminal hearing people talking about what had happened, as if we have not witnessed it huh...

A group of Teenagers looking up at the dark sky saw a one big white cloud far from where we were and then said, "whoi baka isang bloke naman ng yelo yung bumagsak!" (hey, what if a block of ice would be the next one to fall!) Lol... that was funny... and if that thing would happen how i wish he'll be the first one to be hit hardly... crap!

P.S.

I just realized now, "What's happening with Mother Nature?... She's changed."

-nga pala, Jp, happy birthday!... (kahit di mo to mababasa, kahit may bago ka nang friends...):D

Maligayang Kaarawan

"Parang kahapon lang nang isilang ako sa mundong ito, pero ngayon... heto, Cute pa rin ako! wala pa ring nagbabago..."


ilang panahon na rin ang lumipas, umulan na nang sobrang lakas sa mundong ginagalawan ko... sumobra na rin ang mga naranasan kong init... ilang beses na din akong lumusong sa baha at minsan, maranasang magtampisaw sa tubig na naipon nito...

Pagkakataon nga naman, ano bang meron sa petsang ito? sa dinami-rami ng araw sa kalendaryo... Mayroon namang tatlongdaan at animnapu't apat pang ibang panahon...

Una, ang paggunita sa ikaapa'tnapung araw na kamatayan ng aking Pangulo... Ang dami naman simbahan na pwedeng puntahan ni Kris, pero ang lakas talaga ni Bishop kay Itay... Personal daw niyang pinili ang Cathedral ng Balanga para doon niya gunitain ang kamatayan ng kanyang Ina sa Misang hinanda ng Parokya- sabi ni Kris... Ayun, ang mga Balangue ño nagkagulo... nakalimutan nang misa ang pinuntahan nila, Ai maalala ko lang, Oo nga pala, Alam nilang may public figure na pupunta, hindi lang basta artista- si Kris Aquino pa... picture, picture... autograph, ano pa?... Shake hands tsaka beso...:D Solve na!... may makakapagpasikat na rin sa mga kapitbahay, mga kaklase, tsaka yung iba pang pwedeng mainggit... bwahahaha... (If I know ganyan iniisip nila..)

Ako? Gutom ako eah... kumain na lang kami sa Chowking, halos tapat lang ng kanto papasok ng parking area ng simbahan... ang daming tao, nakakatamad makiusyoso... sayang! pagkakataon ko na sanang makita si Baby James...:D


Ikalawa, nagdeklara na ang unico hijo... tatakbo daw siya... sana nga iba siya sa lahat ng mga pulitiko, sana mapantayan nya nga yung nagawa ng mga magulang niya kung sakaling maluklok man siya... wag lang makuha ang ugali ng ibang mga napupuwesto, kung makakain sa resto milyon pa ang pinaluluto... Pakape ka na lang!... :D (Starbucks! Lol..)

-singit ko lang, ngunit wala namang masyadong importansiya ito doon sa talagang pakay ko... yung ibang pulitiko lang kasi kung magapaglabas ng 'infomercials' parang sobra lang sa pag smoke belching... "Yayaman tayo.", parang sarcastic baga... ang hirap talaga minsan magbuhat ng sariling pink 'stainless-steel' na bangko... oo masama ngang manghusga kaya lang minsan kasi parang sobra naman yung mga hangin na lumalabas sa katawan natin, ang baho!... Hindi naman kailangan lahat 'Bayani'... yung ibang simpleng tao naman may kaya ring gawin... matatalino ang mga Pilipino, alam ko kahit papaano madadala nila sa tamang daan ang kanilang mga boto... (nga pala, sa susunod pong halalan, huwag ninyo akong kalilimutan! hehehehe...:D)

Ikatlo, Birthday ng isang importanteng nilalang (na hindi ko alam kung bakit nalikha sa mundong ito...) ni hindi ko mawari kung paano oh bakit nagaganap ang mga bagay-bagay na wala ni isa man lang bang koneksiyon sa pagkakaayos ng mga bituin sa langit ngayon, oh sa paggalaw ng mga planeta sa 'axis' nito, kahit sa pagtatago ng buwan sa likod ng mga ulap, aaraw, uulan, tapos nalagyan pa ng glitters yung pantalon ko kanina... nakascarf pa naman ako... buti na lang kumain ako ng hapunan...

ha?... ang gulo ano? hindi ko rin alam kung bakit, pero yung tao kasi na ito masyadong ginugulo ang mundo ko... minsan naiisip ko, bumili kaya ako ng mighty bond (para mapagdikit ko na lang palagi yung mundo namin), kasi para siyang si superman (napakalakas ng dating)... ayaw ko lang sabihin oh tawagin siyang mcdo (Love ko 'to) bka sabihin obvious na masyado... :D korni nga daw ako, pero alam ko nangingiti naman siya kahit papaano kapag sinesendan ko siya ng quotes na korni, yung tipong,

"Kung nasa laboratory raw ako at kasama kita... Anong English nun?... uhmmm... eh di...

I'm in lab with you!... ayeee!"

tama na nga ang kalokohan...

Ikaapat, oo eto na talaga yun... sa mga pinaggagagawa ko ba naman dito sa lugar na ito, hindi ko akalaing tatagal ako ng ganito... Isang taon na pala ako dito... hindi ko man lang namalayan, ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Maraming tuldok na ang nagawa ko (eto, '....'), nakakairita ba? medyo'...' naniniwala lang kasi ako na ang bawat letra, ang bawat salita, ang bawat parirala, oh kahit isang buong talata, lahat ng ito ay maaaring laging may karugtong, posibleng ang tuldok, dagdagan pa ng dalawang tuldok, tapos ilang salita... hanggang sa mabuo ang isang bagong talata... (ang saya di'ba?) gusto ko lang gamitin ang pagkakataong ito upang pasalamatan ang lahat ng nilalang, pagkakataon, panahon at kung ano-ano pang mga bagay na nagtutulak sa akin upang ipagpatuloy ko ang aking makabuluhang pagsusulat. Kung hindi siguro dahil sa mga ito, wala akong malilikhang katha...

Nagsimula ako sa wala, nandyan si 'chique' (spexal mention!), na laging nag iiwan ng komento kahit walang kwenta ang ilan kong gawa (di naman lahat)... tayo lang kasi minsan nakakaintindi sa gawa ng isa't-isa (nakakarelate baga dung!). Tapos unti-unti nadagdagan kahit papaano yung mga napapadpad dito sa site ko... masaya na ko dun! sabi ko nga, okey lang naman kahit wala oh konti yung nagbabasa ng mga katha ko, ok lang kahit hindi din magcomment yung ibang napapadaan, ayos lang kung hindi maappreciate ng ibang tao yung mga naisusulat ko... Nagsusulat ako kasi eto yung gusto ko. Gusto kong ilabas kung ano yung nasasaloob ko... gusto kong kahit papaano mabawasan yung mga iniisip ko, maibsan yung mga kalungkutan, maibahagi yung mga kasiyahan, at simpleng matuto mula sa iba...

sabi nga ni Anne Frank,
"I can shake off everything if I write, my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn."

at sabi ni Aya,

"If i don't write down the things in my heart right now, tomorrow... then i would forget it and disappear..."

gusto ko, tumagal pa ako sa pagsusulat ng isang taon tapos doblehin ng mga isang milyong beses... at dagdagan ng mga isang daang milyong beses na lang... ayos na sa akin iyon...

oh siya, may duty pa ko bukas... at naghahati na ang araw... lumampas na ako sa 09/09/09, Setyembre 10 na...

Maligayang Kaarawan sa akin, sa kanya, sa amin... :D pano ba yan, mukhang imposibleng makalimutan ko talaga ang date na ito... Ganoon yata talaga pag importante... hehehehe... mahirap kalimutan, mahirap maalis sa isipan... sluggish ako eah... mabagal! pahingi nga ng 'do'... dadagdagan ko lang yung t*rpe ko... (para medyo bumilis, kailangan 'torpedo')... :D

¡feliz cumpleaños!...

Happy Wednesday!!!... :D

.,Guess what?... Wednesday will be a happy day... I wish!...

Why?... a lot of things have changed since then... It's a year ago...

Well, time passes... The world turns... Thank God there is gravity...

Some things are still being held in their right places...





HAPPY WEDNESDAY!...:D

Me is Englishing... Is you englishing too?...

.,I have always been a big fan of eye-opening Documentaries... and this here is a very remarkable one. Howie Severino is indeed a very Impressive Reporter..

This Documentary was aired on television last August 31, Monday after the Late Night News and Public Affairs Show- Saksi @ GMA7 . The Docu talks about how Filipinos use the Universal Language as our Official Language aside from the Filipino Lingo itself. Howie was on his bike travelling the roads of Manila looking for incorrect grammar constructions, misspellings, and many other things that has a specific connection with the use of the English Language (posted or printed in signage, boards, and even on simple warning symbols). Funny as it may sound but there still really is a need for us to pay more attention on this 'Alarming' situation..

In the video @ 00:13, the simple spelling of the word 'BAZAAR' have not been clearly established to the people as it is evidenced by the printed word on the signage. When asked to spell the word to a group of four gentlemen, only one of them has gotten the right answer, even the saleslady whom I think is working on the shop doesn't even know how to spell the word correctly... what's more entertaining is that, the word 'SAPPHIRE' on the bigger bulletin has a different spelling from that of the little one hanging on the wall for the people passing on the streets to see...:D
She has even made a cool explanation when asked why there is a difference in the spelling of the two... "Pareho lang siguro yan... Pareho lang ng basa, magka-iba lang ng sulat." (It's just the same, I think?... It is just read or pronounced in a single way, it has just been different in spelling.)

At 1:58, I was really amazed on the words/phrase(s), "We accept All kind of" and "Throw Pillo Case"... It made me think, what a 'pillo' is? Lol.. but the thought can be well comprehended though by 'understanding and knowledgeable individuals'...

"To our VALUES customer, S.D. Hardware IS TRANSFER to..."

Very, very entertaining... :D


For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

Even at schools, where the foundation of the student’s learning is being established, there is still a huge part missing in the context of the discipline. In this case, how would the students learn the right information about the subject if the teachers together with the classrooms are altogether travelling the wrong way?

"NO ONE FAILS IF HE DO HIS BEST."

I wonder if, or for an instance this is the case, will it still be possible that no one would fail?...

To whom shall the blame be vested upon? The Student’s Learning Abilities? The Teacher’s teaching styles? Or the Parent’s influencing the child (both the inherited influences and those that are being acquired constructively ^_^)?

What are the underlying causes of the 'Lack' in this particular branch of learning?...

I have here my own version of the 'bahala na' construction of an 'Englishing Phrase' which i have found posted on the wall of an establishment, and to my amazement I just found myself on the act of capturing the quote with my cellphone cam...

It says, "Any time you see someone more succesful than you are,
THEY DOING something you aren't."

Quite nice huh?.. Got the message?...

well, I have been very entertained today... If you want to watch the video on its site, click here...
or read the article about the documentary.

This is just the beginning... hmmm... the weather pulls me back to sleep... A high school classmate have just reminded me of this phrase... "It's raining outside, Aren't they?"

Dim...

"Boy's don't cry... We Faint..." ;)

.,After a rude conversation from someone, we were informed then that the 3rd year BSN students may now be able to have their third dose of Hepa-B vaccine at the clinic... I have never been that frightened when it comes to 'needle-talk', but I have let my classmates have their injections first before i have taken my turn... Ladies first! After the vaccinations of the Ladies (they were 8), I have pushed myself towards the hot seat... "Oooops!" (that was my initial reaction) the student nurse have surprised me! the needle just came from nowhere, and it was just injected in an instant without even telling me that i was to be receiving it already... she was too slow, I feel she's reluctant... I have never felt comfortable with that girl performing the task on me... Aspirate, Inject... she has been so slow! I felt she's not confident enough... it took a while and presto!, I'm done and it hurts!.. that girl, she'll have her time... maybe not now, not with me... but i know i can be able to make revenge.. bwahahahaha... >:)

we have left the clinic with pain put on our shoulders... or arms rather... minutes... minutes...
I thought everything's just fine, but no.. I don't have any idea what was happening...

My pupils started to constrict... my vision was slowly blurring... I was not talking... neither did I make any movement... I have sat beside a friend... I was not talking... I started to massage my temporal bones... nothing happened.. my eyes were continuously blurring... it's like it has been solarized (a picture effect)... the walls of the Library started to turn black from white... the road was white, when its real color was gray... I looked up... I forced myself to raise my head and glaze at the heavens... "Lord God what's this?... Is this really happening?", I asked myself while I was still convincing myself that I am out of reality...

suddenly, I am hearing voices... "Hoi ava* ano nangyayari sa'yo?" (Ava, what's happening to you?). Another voice uttered "Ava namumutla ka!" (Ava you look pale!).
"hoi guys ano gagawin natin?... Ava hoi!?" (Guys, what are we gonna do?... hey ava!)
"dalhin na natin si ava sa clinic... hoi maye alalayan mo si ava!... hindi ko yan kaya!" (Let's bring him back to the clinic... maye help/ assist ava!... I can't lift him...)
I have heard those voices as i was stepping my feet off the ground... I felt like I was floating when in fact my feet was on the ground... My vision have completely turned black... I can't see anything anymore... I can't see light...

"Oh ano nangyari kay Angelo?..." (Oh what happened to Angelo?), that was Ate Salie, the cool school nurse... "Ihiga nyo sya dito..." (You put him down here.) "Angelo ano nangyari?... Itaas mo yung paa mo dito.. dalawa..." (Angelo what Happened?... Raise your foot here... both...)

I kept my eyes closed for about a minute... I don't want to see the darkness even if I know that the fluorescent light was turned on... "Alisin mo yung unan Angelo..." (Angelo removed the pillow.) it was under my head... after about another minute i slowly opened my eyes... Good thing, I can now see the light... everything's clear now, but is all blurry...

"ano ba nangyari?..." (What happened?), i was asking myself... I thought of possible reasons... I slept @1am last Monday, because I have reviewed for an exam the following day(Shed-300 and Comdev) .. I slept @ 12am last Tuesday because I reviewed for another exam (OB) , a recitation (Pharma) and made final touches on our project (SHED)... and finally, I slept @ 2am yesterday because I have been busy watering my dry plants @ Country story and Taking good care of my pet @ Pet Society (both on Facebook)...

V/S:
BP- 90/70mmHg ; "what's your normal BP?"- 110/80mmHg po...
PR- 58 bpm
HR- 56 bpm
RR- 14 bpm
Temp.- 36.5 degrees Celsius

I have been low blood.. a little hypotensive... my BP is within normal range but has been low for my body to take... Low PR, Low HR... Temperature reached normal range... (at least I have not been hypothermic).

Five minutes passed... I felt I was sweating... Paresthesia, that is... I asked ate Salie, "pwede na po ba?" (Can I go now?) "che tumigil ka... dyan ka muna..." (No, you stay there..) Ate Salie have known me already... I have been a 'standby' @ the clinic a long time ago... for so many times now... and how can she be able to forget me in these times?... I have made a mark at the clinic already...

20 minutes passed... I felt I was feeling better... I told Ate Salie and Chique that I can help myself now... I'm a Nurse!... Lol... thanks for those people around me... It was a save!... I have almost Fainted... or did I?... LOL...

I have watered my plants and harvested some crops @ country story, I have taken good care of Vyxyn @ Pet society... I have gotten Good grades on those subjects which I have reviewed for exams... I am good at caring for stuffs... but I cannot take better care of myself than what I was able to do for others...

Thank You Mom for being here... for being my Full-time bed-side Nurse...:)

Oh! I need to rest now so I can regain strength... I need to have my energy back so I can be able to continue caring for others...

But before them, I need to refix myself first... :D


Boy's don't Cry!...

Well, I have not cried... I just fainted!... ;)



p.s.

*I am Angelo... my friends just love calling me Ava...:D

Diffused...

"Boy's don't cry... We fight..." :D

.,I have never expected all those things that have just happened this morning...
We didn't have our duty because the Clinical Instructors were so busy in preparing for the accreditation of the University. No C.I. means the students have no Duty... ;) and I thought it would be fun coz' I will be able to go home early and take a very long nap...

Our group was asked to sign an attendance sheet, to serve as a proof that we have been present this day... badly, the sheet was on the hands of our Instructor and she, at that time was inside the University library. With an aim to happily go home, I, together with my group mates invaded the premise of the Library. We were just four individuals then, and there was this Student who's working 'part-time' at the Library who have just felt our presence... She was at first quite busy entertaining other students who, on my inference will be using the facility- of course to study... but then, she have called our attention...

Girl: "Library Card nyo po?" (where's your Library Card?), she asked.

Myself: "Ai hindi, magsa-sign lang kami ng attendance sa C.I. namin hindi naman kami gagamit ng Library." (Ah, we're just going to sign the attendance sheet on our Instructor, we are not gonna use the Library), I replied using the normal tone of my voice.

Girl: "Kailangan po may Library card, ayun po oh nakasulat kasi..." (You need to present your Cards first before I do allow you to get through, it is posted there {she's pointing at the note on the entrance door}).

M: "Magsa-sign lang naman kami, tapos lalabas na din kami, ayun Instructor namin oh..." (we are just going to sign the sheet and leave the Lib after... she's the just right there... {directing her towards where our Instructor is}).

G: "Hindi nga po pwede. Kasi po marami na nga pong ginagawa. Tsaka kailangan po may Library card kayo bago po kayo pumasok.. Nasan po ba yung Library cards nyo?" (You cannot go there. We are busy doing a lot of stuffs. And you need to present your Library Cards first. before you can proceed... where's your Library Cards?), the girl is now talking on a louder voice, and making faces. "Ilan po ba kayo? Yung iba po dun na lang po muna kayo maghintay sa labas, isa na lang po ang pumasok." (How many students are you in here? others may just leave the Lib and stay outside, only one student can move in.)

M: "Eah magsa-sign nga lang kami tsaka iba-iba kami ng pangalan, pipirma pa kami, apat lang kami oh, yung iba naming kaklase nagsign na dyan kanina pa." (We are just going to sign the paper, we have different names plus we need to put our signatures in it, we're only four here, our group mates have just signed the paper minutes ago/earlier), I replied with a Louder tone of voice.

Groupmate: "Angelo, tara na hayaan mo siya, tara lumabas na tayo... Lika na mamaya na lang." (Angelo, cummon' don't pay attention to her, let's leave now... we'll just go back later.), my classmate said calmly... I know he's feeling the heat inside me rising up and up and up... I am feeling it too... It's that girl's approach which made me put up my temper in a level she can't bear. She must be thankful someone stopped me immediately before i have reached my boiling point.

My heart have experienced sudden palpitations... I can really feel my temper going up... We left the Library and went outside.

Groupmate: "Sungit ni Angelo eah!, ang tindi nito... papatulan na yung babae sa loob eah!", he said smilingly... (I have never thought Angelo is such an ill-tempered guy! you were so Intense... He's taking the conversation with that girl seriously!) Sometimes, when the situation calls to do so, my horn just starts to pop out in an instant!... whoala! sometimes even in the least expected times, i tend to lose control of myself, my words, my voice, and my big blabber mouth just bursts.

I know she was just doing her job, and that is what she's intended to do so but sometimes we still need to think of and consider other situation... Every rule must have to have certain excemptions and it has never been a deadly deed to pay acknoledgement to those situations which calls for- just a simple understanding. She has been considerably inconsiderate! I just wonder, if I have asked her to be the one in our situation and we have exchanged positions during those times, will she be still as hard as rock or willingly allow us to do our small part? that is, to simply sign the paper and leave... I believe that it would not cost her a million dollars if she have just had allowed us to pass through... neither will it cost her to lose an important something from herself nor her significant properties.

I know i have been so rude to take that stuff seriously, I felt a little prick inside my conscience though. Come to think of it, we are just of the same level, we're both students of the university, we are COLLEGE students and not elementary students, and we both have our own little agendas being wanted to have defended, thus, we have just made the story a mile-long complicated.
At the end of the game, nobody have won... because it was a draw. She may have pulled us out of her 'teritory' but we were still able to sign the sheet out (Our Instructor went out of the Library and approached us).

What have I learned? I have just realized, that in this life of ours, we don't always need to defend ourselves even if we have our own 'strong, little points'; being able to step back a little further and humbly move an inch away from from trouble or chaos may mean more than a sweet victory... it is also being gracious in defeat...

A Bustling Bee...

.,ooohhh God I missed this!... so much!... i have been away from here almost a century ago... Lol.

I have been sooo busy doing other stuffs that I have just realized now that my blog is quite 'dead'...

I have been making honey jams all month long... and its sweet!... :D swear!...

As far as my memory goes, I have last visited my favorite site when I have had my duty on the Emergency Room of a PRIVATE hospital here in the City... and yeah, the first day was the 'one and only' time when my group experienced our happiest hours... It has never been a new thing for us, 'Laughing' about simple stuffs... anytime, anywhere, anyhow... ;) we will laugh our hearts out 'til were all dead tired on Laughing out Loud... but, sometimes we are disregarding the existence of things and people around our circumference (unconsciously), that we are becoming a little insensitive about how those people might feel or maybe, make impressions... It may also be the one single reason why our relationship with our previous Clinical Instructor was kinda Intrapersonal (in the simplest context, I can say- "It was just all in the mind.", never was or never have been one with the heart...) I don't want others to compare my Personality from others' temperaments... yet, I tend to do compare one person from another. Our first duty was a million, trillion and quadrillion miles the best amongst the ones which we have been into... Its not because of the place, neither the time, nor the patients or the toxic duty itself, its the 'Incomparable Clinical Instructor' who have had made our stay a very remarkable one... indeed!.

After that week of duty, the examinations week, in a flash then followed... Am I smart or am I just Smart?... nope I am not.. I consider myself just 'a point above average' -type of learner, it has just been rounded off... :D

I have performed well on those subjects which I have learned to love the most, but there is this one little stuff (our class @ 10-12am) which makes my Learning quite a way-over imperfect..:D I have noticed, even from the start, that I cannot really ride on the discussion of this certain Instructor though I am trying my bestest to do so... I recite at times, in fact I have established my name on the 'CIRCULATION'... ;) yet, I am still pushing so hard that sometimes i just see myself lying back on bed and fantasizing and day dreaming... I do good on our first subject which is scheduled: MTW @ 7-8am, I know because i see that I am exerting enough efforts to get a well-deserved grade (though she have not yet provided transparency with those kind of stuffs). I do exert more than enough efforts on the following subject which is @ 8-9am, I am way too sure because it have made a reflection on my grade... I think I really am quite good at it (this term)... the next subject is @ 9-10am, I play fair, safe and well that's all- no more, no less.

I have just arrived back on track... and I won't let myself bring me down... its just a matter of 'Internal Motivation'. I can do better if I just wish to do so... there are No Bound'ries as Kris Allen said... and i won't Runaway (d corr's:)... la lang (listening to the songs on my track list)...


I'll be making more Honey Jams and keep myself a busy honeybee... so in the end, I would expect my bee hives to be full (of sweet honey of course)... I won't make unnecessary buzzing sounds as much as I can so I wont get impressions from the superior Bumblebees... and one thing more, I don't bite, I have a sting!... :D

Sweetest dreams!..:D

I was pigged!... Lol:D

.,binaboy ako kagabi!... Lol... una, hinagis nila ang barya, tao daw sa kanya, buntot ang sa akin, tapos... tapos... buntot ang lumabas... pinahiga nila ako... tinanggal lahat ng mga kagamitan ko sa aking katawan... (kala nila dala ko yung cabinet ko...) "alisin lahat ng gamit... lalo na yung mga metals..." sabi ni sir...

inalis nila yung nameplate ko (ang pangalang laging pinaghihiwalay... balang araw magsa-sama rin sila ng matiwasay), may thermometer pa ko sa bulsa ng shirt ko (malay ko bang di pala magagamit)... dalawang bolpen (baka kasi mag blot yung isa, mahirap na... boyscout yata to...), may barya (ewan ko kung magkano), sa ibabang pocket may notepad (syempre para maisulat lahat ng info. na sasabihin ng mabilis na magsalitang si Sir), may penlight (ER kasi eah, makita ko lang yung mata ng patient baka maputi na)... wallet (si L.V. ko! baka makita walang laman!), tapos yung mga cellphone ko (bwaaaahhhh di ko pa po nasa-silent yan. Si nokia pa lang, si Sony di pa... bahala kayo may makita kayo dyan...) inalis din nila yung belt ko... nawindang silang lahat!... bwahahaha..."ano to?", sabi ni Sir... "may tali..." may sinabi sya, yung ginagamit daw ng mga babae... di ko alam kung ano yun... (nakaboxers kasi ako!... eah slim kaya ako... kaya kailangan talaga may tali! mahirap na...) ayun nagtawanan sila... hiya ko naman sa sarili ko... (kailan pa naging masama ang magsuot ng blueng boxers na may tali sa waist para hindi malaglag? hmp!)...

para naman di na sila nahirapan ako na nagtanggal ng sandamukal na butones sa uniform ko... inangat ko na rin yung t-shirt kong maputla ang kulay kaysa sa bago kong uniform...

"ui ava (tawag nila sa'kin, kainis nga sabi nang ANGELO pangalan ko eah!), coca cola ka pala! (pwede ko bang gamitin ang seksi bilang lay man's term? slim daw kasi ako, inggit sila hehehehe...) hihihi..." (ang tawanan ng mga loko, wala mang ab na bukol-bukol, wala namang potbelly, as in seksi! Lol)

kinabit nila ang kung ano-anong kable... may posas sa paa dalawa, sa kamay dalawa din... tapos red daw for the right hand, yellow for the left... red daw sana si Marcos, tapos katapat sa paa itim kasi (sumalangit nawa)... tapos yellow si Cory, tapos sa paa green (RIP din)... sa dibdib nilagay nila yung mga kabute.. Red, Yellow, Green, Brown, Black, Violet... (bakit kasi hindi na lang pa-rainbow! wala namang brown tsaka black sa rainbow eah!)...

sa isang banda, okey na din na ako na lang... kaysa naman sa mga binibini kong kagrupo... mga virgin... (nakakahiya daw... sabi ko naman eah kami-kami lang naman ah!) ayun... sa hinaba-haba ng prusisyon, sa mga papel din na to ang tuloy...

kinakabahan daw ba ko?... kung hindi ako nagkakamali, yung HR eah yung heart rate!... (naks galing ko no!) yung sa magkabila nung I and III 98 tapos 99, eah yung sa II-134, may something daw ba ako sa puso oh kinakabahan lang ako?... sabi ko, "yung mahal ko po kasi hindi ako gusto ng higit pa sa kaibigan..." bwahahahaa!... loko!
tapos yung sa aVR ko 102, tapos yung sa aVL 106... ano ba yan... taas ah... kabado nga yata... first time eah... virgin din...

normal naman itong mga nasa baba kaya lang masyadong mataas daw yata yung sa Q, R, S ko sa V4 tsaka V5... sa V2 biglang baba... as far as i know, wala naman akong komplikasyon sa puso, yun nga lang... wala lang talaga syang love life... naconscious tuloy ako sa reading ng ECG ko...

kasi naman, nag-Establish nga ng rapport, hindi naman nag-provide ng privacy!... LOl... (mamaya duty na naman sa ER... makikita ko nanaman si Sir... maliligaya na naman yung mga groupmates kong babae...)