who loves math?...

"I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally." ~Calvin Trillin

who's got a passion for numbers? for some study programs, math is the center of their curricula, but for other courses, math is just a simple and basic subject which does not need to be given a great attention with...

What have pushed you to take up the Nursing course? A frequently asked question to nursing students (and sometimes to graduate and registered nurses)...
Some answers, "Because It is now in demand, not only in the country but also abroad, and oh!, in that way I can earn lots of money." -an answer from opportunistic people:) ;
some said, "Because I would love to help people. I feel I have the ability and the passion to pay service and give comfort for the well and of course the sick."-an answer for a beauty pageant:) ;

and one of the most common answer is: "Kasi ayoko sa MATH kaya ayoko ng Engineering pati Architecture, pangalawa na lang dun yung takot ako sa heights. Mas lalo namang ayoko ng Accountancy, diba mas maraming numbers yun?... kahit pa pera sya... ayoko pa rin... Hirap na nga ako mag-add eh, magca-calculus pa ba ko?... Nursing na lang... mas ok pa ko sa Dugo kesa habambuhay kasama ang Numero."
("I don't like MATH that's why Engineering and Architecture isn't in the list of my choices, and sum it up with my fear of heights. I don't Like Accountancy either... isn't it about more numbers?... Even if money is involved... i still don't want it... It has been hard for me to do addition, then I will take the burden of doing calculus?... I'd rather choose Nursing... i think its better to be looking at the blood than to stick with numbers forever...") -An answer from a Numerophobic person...:)

I don't know but people often miss this part of the nursing course... Nursing is not merely about Science, Interventions, Processes and CARE... it also involves MATH... Maybe not a lot and not that much complicated than what those 'Math-involving Courses' do... yet, and still Math will forever be a part of the Nursing Field; to compute for dosage of medications, for IV fluid regulation, et cetera... et cetera...

we were discussing about the SCALE FOR RANKING HEALTH CONDITIONS AND PROBLEMS ACCORDING TO PRIORITIES earlier at school... as it is about ranking, numbers and simple math problems are involved...
>>fast forward...
This was the simple given problem to solve:
The formula is (score/highest score) x weight= product (for criterias 1-4) and sum it all up to have the sum total/ the total weight.
(the teacher is the one answering on the board... hihihi...)
a.) 2/3*1 = 2/3 (easy huh!...)
b.) 2/3*2 = 1 oh 2!... (that's ok...)
c.) 3/3*1 = 2 Oooooonnnnneeee!!!... (students laughing..-bad students!...)
d.) 2/2*1 = 1 (very good children!!...)
Total= <3.17 three point seventy? 3.67
= 4.67

so what do you think?...

Incidentally, while i was watching a Noon time variety show, a Freshman nursing student from somewhere proceeded to the Jackpot round of a game which is a segment of the TV show...
>>fast forward...
the first question was...
"Kung ang gastos mo sa isang araw ay Php 120.00, magkano ang total na gastos mo in ten days?..." (If you do spend Php 120.00 in one day, how much would you have spent in total for ten days?) - 10 seconds to say the answer...

(whoooshhhh!...No sweat!...)

"two thousand four hundred?...", answered the contestant/ nursing student...
Host: "magkano?..." (How much?)
C/NS: 2,400 po?...

..............silence..............

Host: "kasi naman kaya nga Nursing ang kinuha, Ayaw ng Math..." (This is why she took up Nursing, cuz' she doesn't like MATH...- something like that...)

These incidents just happen because they are intended to... Idk... maybe some Nursing Students really used or made nursing as a way to be free from/escape from numbers or problem solving equations... but they have not yet won the fight... We can't run from our fears forever... We just need to face the reality as it is... or might as well be in the dark for life hiding through those little spaces made by our nightmares...

Mathematics can be likable in so many unenumerable ways... just take

Calvin Trillin's quotable quote...

"I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally." ~Calvin Trillin

Nyctalopia (night blindness)...

"... it is at times more courageous to fight off than to continue fighting back for nothing..."

.,i was once a part of a 'perfect' family (when i was still at a very young age)... i thought, i have the best family amongst other children of my stage. That i have the best mom, the greatest dad, and the finest siblings in the whole wide world...
That's what an imaginative kid does while he's alone... to think of what are 'supposed to be' perfect (when in fact, he's just blinded by stuffs)...

"I wish I could go back... if only i could..."

I was blindly seeing during those times... Covered up by the innocence of a young child... where everything he does is right... Time passed, and we are all grown ups... Able to think and decide for ourselves, Able to object on things in contrast to what we think is right... and to know the boundaries between what is just and what is considered improper.

We have our own indifferences but it does not have to be widely spoken. We know ourselves better than other people do and so we must not be easily affected by the blabbermouthed individuals around us. We just need to benevolently give trust (although it isn't that effortlessly given) to each other.
I have been
existing living in this world for about 18years, 6months, 2days, 23:00 hours and 58 minutes, yet i am not able to swiftly go along with my river's flow. I think this is really how life goes...

Trials, struggles and certain hindrances come... and its either Victory nor Defeat which follows... Milestones are being created and some, being effortlessly destroyed...

Sometimes we just have to accept things in order for us to feel happy and contented with our lives and every now and then, we just
simply need to balance things... (Advices from my favorite Instructress'...)

"Learning to accept things does not always mean defeat, it is at times more courageous to fight off than to continue fighting back for nothing...

A little of something can be bad, and too much of stuffs can roughly be worst..."

-angelo...=(

P.S.

Now, it is raining hard. I think it'll be harder for me to sleep, it's hot and humid. And i don't really like the spark of the lightning secondary to the deafening thunder (though the latter does not exist). I am blinded by the night, i hardly can't see... how i wish to have a good light, one which can 'loosen up' my mind...

Wordless...

"Let thy words be few." - Ecclesiastes 5:2

., I just don't have any other choice... I cannot really accept the fact that "Things will not always go the way we want it" Today, I will be facing the same situation in this world of uncertainty... wherein CHANGE is the only constant thing.
Suddenly, an idea passed through my exasperated mind... I just realized what 'E' stands for... (right now) 'E' stands for Exile...

I know, time will come... not now, but sooner or a little later things will change... and its just between a single wall, it maybe better or on the other side, worst?... Of course I go with the former.
Just Expect the Unexpected...

"Just Live Alone in the Island of Nowhere..."

Namida (tears)...

"Fate, It can't be put in words..."

.,these are the lines which made me think... that people don't get contented with what they have right now... or the opposite, they can't easily accept what are those they don't wish for, yet it comes...
I watched it since day one... and up 'til then i was carried away... i really love watching inspirational true-to-life stories and this is the kind of story i won't be tired of watching, over and over again...

Aya is a 15-year old girl who was diagnosed to have a disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration. Primarily, it affects the human brain functions; the movements/ locomotion abilities of an individual is significantly affected. Unfortunately, SCD has been sought to have no discovered cure over the years and so the individual who suffers from this kind of disease will forever take it as a burden. Thus, it is in other words 'incurable'.

There has never been any untouchable situations through out every episode. A total heavy drama. Aya lived her life battling against the disease for ten strong years. She managed to smile even if she's in pain, and tried not to show any signs of weakness in the face of other people. Aya is really a damsel full of strength. At the age of fifteen, this girl is unbelievably brave and courageous to continue fighting for her life until her last breath.

She said she have written her Diary to act as a proof that she is alive. That she is living and will forever live. This story have inspired me in so many different ways; To gain strength in times of trials and weakness, and to value the time and the people around me. That as much as Physical health is important, emotional balance and strength is as important as well, which can help us make our way through and accept our lives as what it is and what it may become.

What's wrong with falling down? We can always stand up anyway. We just need to 'Live On...' to live on forever...

every episode, i always felt like crying, but i always tried to hold it back (lots of times)... but for this last episode, i did not try to fight my tears from falling (or i can't just control it anymore)... its a good exercise for my dry lachrymal glands though...

I can't wait to see the next episode following that one which was presented last Friday and so i found my way through and until this final episode...

"If i don't write down the things in my heart right now, tomorrow... then i would forget it and disappear..."- the lines i got so touched with...

In the end, we can then find our place... A place where there will be no more tears... A place where everything is a treasure... Just a boxful of happiness...

"People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you are doing now...." -excerpts from the story (An English Translation)...

A Total Stranger...

" I have felt this feeling again,

An emotion I have had before...

A Total Stranger on my place,

A place I considered as home.

My psyche, it kept on wandering...

Searching for places to Live on..."

-Angelo (//-x)...

Awaiting...

"The sun slowly keeps on rising,

As my heart continues pounding;

Sooner, I can then stop thinking,

And I can now end this Awaiting..."

School, wait for me...

I'm coming...:)

White Noise...

"White noise deafens me... Screaming silently through my unconsciousness..."

., It was almost twelve midnight, i connected the earphone power input to my phone and tried to search for a 'sleepy melody' and to my disappointment, there was nothing but a plain white noise...

Suddenly, I remembered a scene I have watched on the television show KYLE XY while i am still laid on my back... when He(Kyle) was also searching for a good music to help him get some sleep via the radio. If i am not mistaken, he was at the tub during those times... in a cold bath tub where he, in an instant found himself being able to find a good sleep... Kyle was like a kid during those times... and that is when i started to like him... i mean his role on the said TV show...

Back to my story...

Unfortunately, there was no good music for me. All that i am hearing and searching for are plain white noises... I can't find a good music, nothing for a good night sleep...Bothered or maybe just thinking of certain matters... matters about me being 'roughly rude' at times... all of a sudden being very judgmental and so direct that i was not able to control my words at certain situations... I do not really know if i have changed... yes, the innocent I was already gone. He was already buried deep down a hollow dig. Do i need to feel sorry about me losing naiveté?... maybe not... I am still a human being and what makes a human being far different from other living creatures is his ability to think and rationalize... and of course deep, reasonable feelings...

Like most individuals, I commit certain errors and at times not being aware of those... I am just a faulty human being. Maybe i have changed the path i was previously taking... simply turned separate ways from what other people expected me to take... I do not feel any regrets about the decisions i have made and the things I've done anyway... I do feel a little flash of guilt sometimes... which i think, is 'probably' normal... But certain situations do not always offer us the need to apologize, say sorry or simply ask for forgiveness... A Sorry for me, have just been a simple 'routinized word'... Quite easy to say huh... but clings to my ears indifferent from those white noises...

I continued searching for a pleasing sound... just like how much determined I am to search for appropriate decisions to make upon knowing some bits and pieces concerning other people...
Just like kyle, I have not found those answers in a one full night...

White noise deafens me... Screaming silently through my unconsciousness... with heavy eyelids and a dysfunctional hypothalamus, I felt like those white noises are melodic lullabies slowly seeping through my dead brain... A Deadpan thinking about how other people sees me and maybe how to deal with the situation.

"I don't need to prove myself to anyone"...

maybe i just need to give my

Smart brain a good rest... and then just think of the details 'unannoyingly'...

till i wake up... that's when I might be able to THINK...

Paggunita... (Reminiscing...)

"...anumang dahon na nalalagas sa isang puno ay dahan-dahang magkakasibol na muli..."

hindi ko mawari kung ano ang pumasok sa aking isipan kung bakit nagawa ko ang bagay na ito... basta ang alam ko lang, masaya ako habang nakikita ang mga larawang nagpapanumbalik sa mga pinakamasasayang ala-ala habang kapiling ko ang aking mga 'tunay na kaibigan'...

alam ko, walang permanenteng bagay na nalikha para magtagal dito sa mundo... ngunit alam ko rin na mayroon namang mga bagay o mga pangyayari na nagaganap upang ipanumbalik muli sa atin kung ano man yung mga bagay na maaari nating makaligtaan...

sa loob ng humigit-kumulang dalawang taon, ang mga taong ito ang aking nakasama sa paglikha ng mga ala-ala... mga ala-alang nagbigay kasiyahan at ngiti sa aking mga labi, at lungkot at mga luha sa aking mga mata sa kani-kaniyang mga pagkakataon... walang tao na kayang mabuhay nang nag iisa... gaano man kasaya o kagulo ang mundong kanyang ginagalawan sa iba't ibang panahon at pagkakataon... kinakailangan pa rin niya ng makakaramay upang punan ang isang kulang na bahagi upang mabuo ang isang masayang ala-ala...

ngayon, matapos ang mga masasayang panahong ito... ang mga bagay ay dumarating sa kani-kanilang kahahantungan... laging nagkakaroon ng pagbabago... walang nananatiling permanente sa nilikhang mundo... ang bawat naumpisahan, dumarating sa katapusan... ngunit sa bawat katapusang ito, muling sumisibol ang isang panibagong simula... isang simula na patuloy muling iinog... isang simula na nanggaling sa nakaraan at unti-unting gumagawa ng daan patungo sa kasalukuyan... kasalukuyang magdurugtong sa atin patungo sa hinaharap...

maaaring matapos ang isang samahan... maaaring mawala sa isang iglap ang mga bagay na hindi natin inaasahan... oh sa isang iglap rin mabago ang lahat-lahat...

hindi na muling maibabalik ang nakaraan... mabubuhay na lamang ang tao sa kanyang kasalukuyan... ngunit sa isang mumunting paglingon, maaari nating balikan ang mga bagay kung nanaisin... hindi sa pamamagitan ng pagbalik sa nakaraan, ngunit sa pamamagitan ng pagbuo sa naghihintay na hinaharap...

sa mga taong naging bahagi ng aking masaya, magulo, at mahirap na buhay kolehiyo; sa aking mga kaibigan, sana'y dumating ang pagkakataon na sabay sabay nating marating ang rurok ng tagumpay... ang muling lumikha ng kasiya-siyang mga sandali... at ang pagdidikit muli ng mga napipilas na pira-pirasong papel...

mula sa mga kathang isip na pagnanais... hanggang sa pagsasakatuparan ng mga ito...
sa bawat buhos ng inumin, at sa pagtaas ng mga baso... sa pagbabato ng mga bote, at pagsisigawang walang halaga (cheap:)...

"sa paglipas ng panahon, ang mga nalilikhang sugat ay unti-unting maghihilom...

katumbas ng anumang dahon na nalalagas sa isang puno at dahan-dahang nagkakasibol na muli..."


-angelo...=)