Telefonino Cellulare e eccetera (Cell Phones and Et cetera)

.,After all the trials and hardships, I am now revitalizing my revived self. Two weeks passed and I was a little afraid of not being able to celebrate my twenteenth birthday because of the not-so-good condition I've been into on the past few weeks, but after the long wait, I was still able to dig into making-out at the party last night.

I have had celebrated with friends my birthday bash/ Christmas party with a bang! Two days ago a package came, so timely with my late celebration. I have received gifts from my Loving Sister as I have wished for...

A brand new phone as a replacement to my pitiful, old, sentimental-value-filled phone (Nokia 6085). Life is Good!

LG KP500 Cookie

Paired with a brand new digital camera which I have included into my birthday/Christmas wish list.

Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera M320

 

9.2 Mega pixels with 6.9cm LCD

An old friend have also given me a brand new phone as a birthday present... and it was a big surprise. Now I know what to collect with my old 6085 still functional and my Nokia 5300's dull  presence- Cellular Phone Collection over my Spongebob Stuffs collectibles. 

Torque D2

Sharp black- colored, stripped with a yellow blank on the sides. All brand new. C:

I have received a set of Bench/ hankies and a blue-tinted, semi-body fit (wrong-sized medium) Bratt shirt in addition to the wonderful memories and treasurable moments with my dear friends.

With money set aside, I am very thankful for this new addition in my 19 or make it 20- years of existence.

*With our exchange gift, Spongebob Items floated over the belly bottom which I joyfully picked-up piece by piece.

*Photo taken from my pc's webcam with my 2-year old spongebob pillow on top. Thanks to my monita... C:

The world seems to be quite fair after all. Isn't it!?

-Merry Christmas in Advance everyone! Next up, my Wish List.

Love's to Blame (Lyrics)

Joel and Luke

Time in time I thought through it all

How we loved and loved

and how we fought each other

pushing one another to be somebody else.

And time in time I'm pressing my thoughts

uncertain if the end was right or wrong

 and whether we still should be together

or with somebody else.

A lost memory, 

She had water in her eyes

She cried stay with me...

asked how can this be love

if you are leaving me

but darling Love's to blame.

And i can't see you right now,

'cause my heart just can't take it...

can't be near you right now

cause i know you're no longer mine, 

I can't see you.

It makes me ache that we had to break

and even though I knew your heart so well 

we're strangers in different places 

though we're living mile apart.

My best friend's gone,

my world has been turned

We'll never share a name of her be wronged

But I will always remember

Years we've spent in Love.

I say I'll think of you 

I pray that you were safe

and say I'm missing you

but has to be this way cause I'm not right for you

and that's why Love's to blame..

And i can't see you right now,

'cause my heart just can't take it...

can't be near you right now

cause i know you're no longer mine, 

I can't see you.

And i can't see you right now,

'cause my heart just can't fake it...

can't be near you right now

cause i know you're no longer mine, 

I can't see you.

And I can't see you,

No i can't see you,

I just can't see you...

 Right now...

But may be time will heal our hearts, 

and may be after time you'll understand

I take the darker side of me.

And i can't see you right now

'cause my heart just can't take it.

Can't be near you right now..

cause i know you're no longer mine.

And I can't see you right now,

'cause my heart just can't take it.

Can't be near you right now

cause i know you're no longer mine...

And I can't see you

No i can't see you

I just can't see you.. Right now...

No i can't see you...

I just can't see you...

I just can't see you.. Right now...

and Love's to Blame...

I have discovered this song myself when I was watching a very popular movie at YouTube during my late high school years (I got tired of reading the subs, for the movie was a Thai Romantic Drama though it was very good) and it hit me like a throbbing needle. I tried to find then the lyrics of this heart-hitting song but to my surprise, what appeared were merely versions of some Steve Earle and none was written for this version of two great brothers.

For my convenience and also for other deathly Love song fanatics who wants to sing along; I tried to listen to the song over and over as I wrote down the words based on how exactly I heard them (so please bear with my eardrum).

Enjoy and play great music with me! :)

P.S.

-Heyp'pi Birthday to Somebody I know; who doesn't know even a single piece about me, or even feel my sole existence and see my meekest presence, my admiration- respect and reverence to You. Heyp'pi Birthday! :)

Revive, Resuscitate, and Recover...

There are almost a gazillion ideas and sexvigintillion thoughts running through my disbursed head. My frontal lobe can't actually process all the information and data at once, not now... not yet.

Who would have thought that I will be paying my debts as early as now with regards to the rewards or shall I say punishment I, myself am giving to my lean and gaunt physical body. I felt sick for the past few days (again), and take a note of it, that exactly was during my officially-out-of-the-teens-birth day. I didn't knew it would be this quick that I get to have the loose change. Months ago, during the second-half of the year, I felt like I was over my greatest capacity to bear or handle physical and psychological situations. I must have met my crisis with the unknown situations for I take stress as a hobby, its as if it was my favorite among life's delicacies.

I wanted to have a break now, a break from the cruel situations life is offering me or that's the way I see it now. I assumed so much responsibility, I guess more than I could have handled-possibly out of the lines. I am done with the old lifestyle once I get myself back on track- this is not a promise, its an order, an aim, a goal:  not a thing that I 'have' to do for my own self but rather one which I 'need to do/shall be doing' by now. I have made some pieces of my heart be shattered along the paths I take and in a place where it is quite hard to pick it all up again. Its gone in an instant. I am taking all of my time to breathe deeply, and as I take each oxygenation process, I frequently try to ask Someone 'why', but I never get to have new answers, for I throw the questions back to myself thereafter. 

We get to meet new people through each path we take but no one stays permanently (are you 'no one'?), some leaves and never returns, some stays for a while and then escapes the situation as soon as they get what they want and it throbs. I have never felt a single emotion with each particular moment of experience. It always do come in pairs, a package. For the nth time, I have had my consultation with a family physician and people frequently asks me about how well did the result go, I utter no words in response to their query for I believe it would be healthier if I consciously get to use silence and oftentimes suppression as a defense mechanism. Life is a game we play and its a little difficult to play fair. Thanks but no thanks for the unsolicited concerns.

I mention words which frequently hit my veins and in an instant, it pricks deep all the way through. I shall do the reviving on my own, and I need to revitalize I know. Along the process of changing, I shall resuscitate my breath... and in the counts for life I shall continue; wisdom is taking the place of the long before hidden part of my being. I am living yet slowly dying. I live to live and not to get lost- Easily.

-Photo taken from my old cp camera-

They say that the stars is nowhere to be found in the morning but they get to rise and shine brightly at night. The moon may be covered by the dark gray clouds but it still glows a ton of white light. We may be living life in the midst of struggles but what is good about the creatures here on earth is that they are capable of adapting with what is happening in the environment. 

Recover. After all these, I am wishing forth to regain what I have lost, to get something back on my sole possession, to get things well and then be better, amend for good.

“A DECADE OR TWO”

A composition I have made for a paper requirement at school goes like this...

In life, we cannot always be so certain about the paths we take and the roads we travel. We may go with the flow or oppose the forces of nature if we want to.

Four years ago, I was merely out of the interest in pursuing this course for I was thinking of not seeing myself doing the works of care for others, but as time went by in just an instant and through the moments of learning, wisdom and experience I have realized that half of my life now is revolving within and is on its way towards becoming a noble profession.

The first two years of my study were central to plain school works and imaginative creations of hospital works in my futile mind, then who would have thought that sooner or later I will be reaching the sweet fruits of my cultivated passion. I have felt the fervor within me to care for patients with hospital and community exposures in a meaningful worthwhile. I have had stood on my own pedestal and was able to help myself rise despite diverse existent shortcomings and hindrances as I lived life aiming forth to be successful in this chosen lea of mine.

The feelings of fulfillment laid in my circumscription stand as one of my motivations in continuing what I have started. There are so many stories to tell but learning to love what initially meant nothing for me felt like something so usual. Others may see me as a normal student or may perceive me as a typical one but to those people who know me personally, I may be one of the most outstanding, call it special or different in a unique manner.

No one can predict what one will be, even after a year from now… more so, a decade or two; all these are simply expectations and what we want ourselves to be in the near future. I have always had great results whatever my secondary choices were even during my high school years and until now, as I get nearer and closer towards reaching my baccalaureate diploma, I get to plan things in a wide range of spontaneity.

Two decades from now, with plans laid on hand, I see myself and hope for to be a successful professional in the pursuit of the good and for the betterment of my family and my personality/ self as a functional well-being; as of now I am thinking of widening my range of expertise. I want to explore things out of my baby box. I want to explore the world. Experience and study the cultures of the West, Asia and the Southern countries. I want to be one of the most successful nurses of my age. I want to uplift the morale of my Country beginning with my University. I want to develop further within me the heart of a Clinical Instructor with a Masters Degree in Nursing with my professors whom shall stand as my sole inspirations and exemplars. I want to experience, out of curiosity the works of a call center agent where people say nurses go after graduation or board exams simply to practice and employ my speech prowess just for a moment. I want to work in a well-known institution with only the best employees for quality patient care. I wish forth to finish culinary arts just to know a wide variety of cuisines not seeking of green pastures; I want to be the best that I can be out of the country. I want to give pride to our clan, to my family and of course to myself. I am looking forward towards experiencing only the best and the greatest in thy near future. I want to serve the Lord and my Country. I do not actually plan of having my own family or build a new one as soon as I am affirmably settled and have had established matters on every aspect of my being but rather I see myself as a successful individual and then am hoping forth to be one. What we expect to see in the time ahead are simply the reflections of what we wish forth ourselves to be. We can’t count on to anybody except to the One who is guiding us and who always sees us from above.

This Head Nursing experience gave me the wisdom and compassion not only with the patients but also with my colleagues. I was able to show and perform my leadership and managing skills, not only guiding to be followed but also learning to be dynamic as well at all times. Leading (or simply being able to lead), in addition to nursing as a caring profession could also be considered as a privilege. Modestly being able to assess the accomplishments within a limited span of time, I can easily say that I, together with my co-head nurses have been effective and efficient, smart and intellectual enough to serve as a guide to our subordinates and future colleagues.

I am living my life as it is now in the present time, with the wisdom of what the latter Mahatma Gandhi have quoted, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” I am taking my time in constructing the doorways of what others call ‘destiny’ and what I call Life and Reality; and I believe, for whatever we do, in word or deed, we shall do all in the Name of Our Lord. I am setting the direction towards reaching my future, the way towards pressing the success key and then push on enter, the road towards love, the path towards happiness and everything else in between.

-The End-

Indolently Dynamic

"I feel unworthy of little certainties..."

These are the words I have just uttered which then kept running through my 'crestfallen' mind. I feel so undeserving of what I have right now; not because I don't feel I am worthy for it but its because I don't feel its worthy of me. I have always denied the topic of me about being perfectionist, having a Type 'A' personality, overachieving, competitive and a boastful individual (*oooppps... remove the last!) yet it undeniably shows/ reveals a part of me which I think is a little normal for a teen of my age (*defensive).

I was taking everything easy these past few weeks or months should i say and its because I have overestimated my abilities and knowledge about certain information and situations. I have gotten grades which I think I don't deserve this much, but what could I possibly do if these are the fruits of my bitterly bearing tree? I just have to pick them up, wash a little bit and accept the fact that this is what I am going to have this semester, a closely rotten crop. I always tell myself (*which I have never had put to action) that I can do much or more than what I can, but I also know that there is this something which tries to hold me back. I just think I should've paid deeper attention with what I do regret now. Its crazy how life plays its plans for us.

***
I have had my check up i think last Thursday or Friday.. because i felt it is so necessary to have one. I have had my second fever for the month that day before the check up and it felt like I was nearly dying because it is quite unusual for my 'gaunt' body to have such more than once in a month or in this certain period of time. I shall have the colds forever said the Doctor, unless I mange to find ways how to strengthen my body or my immune system directly. In short, work out or exercise! (things i hate doing the most... haha..) Honestly speaking, I don't like activities that require physical exertion or efforts... let us play mind games instead. "Hijo, pwede ka magtuloy sa Medisina kung gusto mo..", he uttered smilingly after i have told him my assessments towards myself. lol. I did laugh hard after... then he told me he's not kidding.

***
"Magaganda ang grades ng batang 'to ah... Running ka ba? (for Cumlaude)", said the enrolling officer while i was into the initial validation of grades for my enrollment. I felt flattered. but then, suddenly it felt a little sad... "Ai hindi po... hindi na po ako Dean's Lister...", I replied humbly... or should i say embarrassed? I know I could have done better. So here comes Mr. Regret again... bothering my futile mind.

***
A week before, I took a hold of the responsibility of being the class president again as I am and the positive feed-backs I have received were all overwhelming. It feels great that people do appreciate all the things you do for them... may it be a favor, a voluntary deed or whatever. Perhaps an exemplification of the qualities of a good leader- as it is stated (Encarta).

I just had this notion ringing.. like, how is it so possible that other people manage to see what my real knowledge and abilities are when I, myself think that all my efforts still lack a ton if I could just say. When is the right time to use the words- sufficient and lacking? Like when they are supposed to be used interchangeably?
I have had conversations with different types of people.. from different walks of life... some whom i have listened to, while others enter the right side and then leave the opposite. I guess I still don't have "strategies" (as a kid told me while playing PVZ) on how to control my life and the situations despite the recurrence of such more than once in this insane earthly living. I just play it the way (how) I know I can win over it. I am now officially on my Senior year... and the pressure is on me to get the diploma, pass the board then and get a contenting job (with good grades and set higher standards).

A friend always do remind me of not being so happy on a one-time basis, i mean like getting into the happiest-moment-feeling-forever... (happy-go-lucky, one-day millionaire) because I may not have something to be left for the next day or the following days. I can't explain the feeling. Life, oftentimes feels so untrue... and i don't wanna be in this the whole time. I don't wanna have another tomorrow.

I want a day to be forever. I don't want things to end. I want today t0 be the sole dream of my forever.

and I pray to the Father, to let me live in a history... feeling like this life is eternal with the happiness of knowing that I am in a place surrounded by people who does not merely believe in destiny but in the sanctity and Sovereignty of Faith, Trust and Love.


-Angelo... -_-


P.S.

I dropped by @youtube to check on some videos then i get to hit this vid of David and i just wanna share.. I just miss archie too so much... :D
and if you get to read this, yeah You.. Old Owl, *ewan ko sayo... hahaha...

Nightynight... Godspeed!

Permanent

.,I just wanna share this video of my second favorite David... na-LSS ako grabe... hahaha...

I can feel Cook's emotions overflowing and this is so Insane. Great song, great vocals... effortlessly perfect!




PERMANENT
David Cook

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent

I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent...

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry...

Tears do glitter...

.,Its been a long while and I have not planned that I will have my come back this way...

I don't really get it when people say I've changed... a lot!... I guess I naively still don't know me.

It has been more than a month, and I always come to this point in time when I restart to realize that time is really just meant to fly. My best bud has arrived last 1st of February and now she's left... a bittersweet goodbye for me again I guess. I am not as hard as a rock or as stiff as a rod, nor as pliant as a bamboo but I know I have emotions inside of me and they just recur whenever I need them.

I think I have not extracted the best out of it... Regrets, why do they always get in our way the last? I don't know... I don't really know. Now, I feel the missing part of it and I don't know how I can adjust to this new, sad, and quiet environment again in my room. I feel it, yes I am alone. Again. I will be leaving this box today and it will be alright outside... but I don't know what awaits me when I get back.

No one will bother me when I am studying, no one will hit me with a pillow as i sleep soundly, no one will ask me sweet little favors about computer shortcuts and how to's... No one will stay with me awake till the next morning, no one will join me as I eat alone at the dinner table, no one will ask me to accompany her with her whereabouts. I am crying. I can't help but cry. I was so insensitive then that I have not paid attention on those simple happy moments. I should have made no regrets.

I know she' leaving because of me and I don't know if she feels its just fair for her to do these things for me. I can just talk to nobody about how I feel now. I hardly utter words.

Addio mi ammica. Arrivederci! Buon viaggio! A presto!

Memoirs...

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." - Anne Frank

.,I have had a lot of stories running through my mind this past few weeks of blog-rest (shall I call it)... I just ran out of words I guess?...

I have come up into something I have not realized before or even gave a little attention with... I thought I have already known the ways of life; how it goes, its 'rights and wrongs', the ups and downs, even one's purpose and up to the time of a person's last deep breath... not until I have it right in my very eyes... In the weakest part of my body- my Heart.

12 days ago, our second day of duty at JPMH around 7:45 pm- has been the most critical hour of my hospital-life so far... I have never thought that I would be dealing with such situation ever in my wildest and most fearful nightmares... Yes, it was a nightmare. A nightmare which I have wished to be a gay dream but sorry for me, it was not. My Patient died. Simple as it may sound, but that four-letter word can change the walks of everything.

Hours before that incident, I have experienced a number of firsts for a semester and a fourth of hospital duty... When I have heard that I will be reassigned with the same patient at the Isolation Room, I have felt mixed emotions then... I thought it wouldn't be that difficult for me to make assessments, and that it would be easier for me to do charting and SOAPIEs (Its what I love doing the most, I am making a novel out of it). I also felt a little unhappy with it, knowing that for the second time, I am dealing with the difficult task of making Tatay be able to regain strength or maybe just feel a little better than he was the other day... My partner and I cleaned up the mess that Tatay have just made... Y'all know it. It was my first and I guess her first too, we have just communicated with our eyes and contacted each other with blinks and breathes... We have changed soiled Linens and diaper, and did TSB with TLC after(he's febrile that time). It was all my first.

After the dinner break and while we were having fun at the Nurse's Station which is just situated on the right side of the ISO and while our C.I. was discussing about something with corny jokes, my Patient's relative called our attention and said that Tatay was having a difficulty in breathing... we rushed into the room, Sir M taking the BP... 90/60, 60/palpatory... The unbelievable Doctor arrived walking in... Stethoscope here, here, here and one there...

"Wala na s'ya" (He's gone), the Resident 'Doctor' said emotionlessly.

Ate Barbara (Tatay's Daughter-in-law) lost control of herself and she have just cried... I was trying to hold back my tears... I don't know what to do... I walked into her and tapped her shoulders and her back.. that's all that I can do to show her how much I care... to empathize.
I was tasked to do Post Mortem Care then, I seem to be floating in the sea of nowhere when I was trying to get the towel from our Head Nurse. One stroke, I'm fine... Second stroke, I'll be Ok... This is what's running in my skeptic mind... I can't help it, I just cried... I saw droplets of tears falling from my weary eyes... tired of seeing people suffering from the hardships of life. I tried to close Tatay's eyes, it won't shut... I know he still wants to live.

"Tatay mag-iingat po kayo dun", those were the last words I whispered to his ears. I know he heard me... right?

I have just remembered, the night before we were talking (My group mates/Friends and I) while at the back of the hot Van while staring at the bright moon and the dark skies painted with glowing stars...

"Ry pag namatay ka tapos nabuhay ka ulit ano gusto mo maging?" (I have already forgotten her answer).

"Eah ikaw Ate Shee?", I asked them one by one... She replied, "Dagat. Eah ikaw Ava?"

"Gusto ko maging ulap... Langit", I uttered while looking up the beautiful night sky.

"Ang emo mo talaga Ava", that's Jobelle to me.

I always wanted to be the Heavens up above the sky... (Partly because its blue) but the real reason is that... the clouds have their own emotions with them... It travels everywhere... It 's never gone... They're always up there... Giving shade when there's so much light and gives way to light when the place is so dark... It rains when its feeling heavy and forms different shapes on its glory... :) I love it when it paints a rainbow and when the colors fade from red to orange and from violet to blue.... I love the Sunset-clouds; it marks the end of a wonderful day and I also love Sunrises- it means an awaiting great life ahead.

Life has changed a lot for me... I always see Tatay's eyes at night when I shut mine, I always remember his face when I sit to eat on the morning plate, I feel Tatay's warm skin when I am drying my body... I have just come into realization that this is what I am in to... this is what will I do, this is really an inevitable part of life, one of the hardest part of my Future Profession.

I don't want to experience or see another kind of Life and Death situation again, or do I still have to give all of me when caring for my patients and get so attached? I don't want to get hurt, but I know I won't feel I am happy when I don't know the difference of the two.

Life, Change, Death and Memories... For that day and that day only. Farewell Tatay! Take Care.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy amidst the simple beauty of nature. -Anne Frank

Hundred wordless reasons...

.,I've got a million innumerable reasons to be thankful for another year added in my life... but I still have more about me that is needed to be fixed and be placed on their righteous places... and some to be simply corrected... I want to confess everything to this one Person... but I'm afraid of the possible consequences... I am still immature of some stuffs I must say... or am I still a coward doing the shadow fight...

well, I still have rooms for Improvement... I don't expect for anything more or something better... I am just so... so thankful that I am experiencing to live this wonderful life on this continuously changing world....

Happy happy!.. :D


[Gonna be updated tomorrow...]

Ang Ika Labing-tatlo

.,Marami nang masyado ang mga naganap sa nakalipas na dalawang linggong mahigit na pagpapahinga ko sa isang gawaing lubos kong kinagigiliwang tupdin.
Ikalawang araw ng paglilingkod-serbisyo para sa isang aralin sa aking kurso (ang muling pagbabalik ng nakalipas na delubyo? hindi na siguro...) , hindi ko masasabing lubha akong natutuwa sa mga nangyayari sa aking buhay habang patuloy na umiikot ang mundong aking ginagalawan ngunit kung susukatin at titingnan sa maliwanag na bahagi nito masasabi kong mapalad pa rin ang nilalang na patuloy na naghahanap sa mabubuti at magagandang bahagi ng isang sitwasyon, bagay, o pangyayari.

Mahigit isang linggo na ang nakalipas simula ng ako'y makalipat ng klaseng aking pinapasukan, hindi ako ganoon kasaya simula noong mga nakalipas na panahon, ngayon- bagong mga mukha, ilang mga paikot-ikot na pag-uugali, at di mabilang na pakikisalamuhang kailangang buuin unti-unti... sa mga desisyong aking ginawa wala naman akong pinag sisisihan ni- isa man sa mga iyon... may mga bagay lamang na kailangan talagang talikuran sa halip na pagtiisan ito at mag sisi habang nasa sitwasyong iyon... nakakapanghinayang nga lamang isipin na kaakibat ng mga desisyong ito, minsan kailangan nating isakripisyong mahiwalay sa mga taong napalapit rin sa iyo kahit papaano... pagkakaibigang kailangang pansamantalang mapawi para sa ikabubuti ng aming sarili...

Sa pag-iwas sa isang sitwasyon, hindi lahat ng mga nilalang na nakilala natin noong mga panahong nagdaan ay masaya para sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ng iba, may mga taong makikitid ang pagpapahalaga sa mga pinagsamahang mga pagkakataon; biro man o totoo ang mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng tao ay lubhang makapangyarihan na kaya nitong paikutin at baligtarin agad ang pakikitungo ng isa sa iba... lalo na kung sa mga salitang iyon, hindi tuwa bagkus ay pagkamuhi ang iyong madarama.

May mga pangyayaring madalas ay idinidikit ng tao sa kanilang pang-araw araw na pamumuhay, mga karanasang pinaniniwalaang nagdudulot ng kung anong bagay na mahirap maipaliwanag... Halimbawa na lamang ngayon ang paggamit ko ng wikang Filipino sa aking katha... walang sinuman ang makapagsasabi kung bakit oh paano, oh ano man ang koneksiyon nito sa aking nararamdaman...

"hindi lahat ng anghel nasa langit... ngunit hindi rin ibig sabihin na kahit bumaba sila o manatili sa lupa ay hindi na sila maaaring tubuan ng kahit katiting na umbok sa kanilang mga ulo- mga matutulis na bagay na hindi mo gugustuhing makita sa kanila.. na sa halip na isang bilog itong nagliliwanag, huwag na lamang... iyon na nga.."

ni minsan sa tahimik kong isip, hindi ko nawari na makakagawa ako ng mga bagay na hihigit sa kung ano lamang ang nararapat nitong hangganan... higit lalo na sa isang walang kalaban-labang nilalang... nakakaawa... ngunit hindi ko iyon naramdaman, bagkus ay para akong naligayahan...

hindi inasahan ng sinuman sa kanila na kaya kong gawin ang ganoong klaseng bagay... upang putulin ang mapalabok na kwento, ganito ang nangyari...

Isang kaibigan ang nakursunadahan kong makalokohan, hindi naman ako napikon, sino nga ba ang nauna? ang paglalagay ng nadurog na pulbo sa isang itim na pantalon ay labis kong ikinagalak... at sa sobrang tuwa ko, naisip kong pumatol... minsan lang naman eah... makahanap lang ito ng katapat.. :) lumayo siya, akala niya tapos na, ngunit nag uumpisa pa lamang ako... dumakot ako ng mga nadurog na pulbo sa sahig gaya ng sa kaniya at hinawakan ko ang dalawa niyang kamay ng sobrang higpit gamit lamang ang kanan kong kamay, sinigurado kong mararamdaman niya ang higpit nito at pagkatapos? ibinuhos ko sa kaniyang ulo ang pulbong nakuha ko...
tapos na? hindi pa... habang hawak siya ng mahigpit, parang halos kinaladkad ko siya papunta doon sa mga pulbong natapon, nakapulot na ako muli ngunit nakapiglas siya... hindi ako tumigil dahil wala naman siyang mapupuntahan eah... sinundan ko siya, muling hinawakan ng sobrang higpit, umaaray na siya at sinasabing ayaw na niya ngunit wala akong naririnig, mas hinigpitan ko ang hawak at ipinahid ang pulbo sa kaniyang pantalon... walang kapalag-palag... walang tumutulong ngunit may isang umaawat.. naaawa na marahil sa sinasapit ng kaawa-awang nilalang na iyon... hindi pa ako tapos, muli ko siyang halos kaladkarin papunta sa pulbong nagkalat sa sahig, pilit ko siyang pinauupo, ayaw? hindi pwedeng ayaw... pinilit ko siyang maupo... inilapit sa pulbo upang magmarka lalo iyon sa kaniyang pantalon... sumisipa, pumapalag, hinawakan ko ang dalawa niyang paa at hinatak papunta sa sahig na natapunan ng pulbo... inilampaso ko siya roon at hindi ako tumigil hangga't hindi napupuno ng dumi ang kaniyang pantalon... nang ayos na ako at nagliwanag ang isip sa mga pag pigil ng mga kasama namin sa silid na iyon lumayo ako at nakitang ubod ng dumi ng kaniyang damit... namumuti ang kaniyang buhok at talagang hindi mo gugustuhing ikaw ang mapunta sa sitwasyon ng kaawa- awang nilalang...

Natapos iyon at may halong tuwa akong naramdaman. una ito... ngayon ko lang naranasang maging halos demonyo sa harap ng mabibilang mong tao, isa pa, ang guro namin ay nasa di kalayuan... mas nadagdagan ang "thrill" kumbaga...

sabi ko nga, hindi lahat ng 'angel' halo ang nasa ulo, minsan may mga pagkakataon na buntot ang tumutubo sa likod naman nito...
Nagulat silang lahat.. talagang hindi nila inaasahan na magiging ganoon ako kumilos... siguro ni sa hinagap hindi nila naiisip na kaya kong gawin ang ganoon kademonyong bagay... well, anong araw na nga ngayon?... Ikalabingtatlo... hindi sana ako naniniwala sa ganito, kaya lang... may minalas nga eah... paano ba yan?... paumanhin na lang sa kaniya.. hayaan mo... pwede naman natin iyong ulitin... sa susunod putik naman ipapahid ko sa'yo... oh kaya ibabad kita sa kumukulong mantika...

Isa pa nga pala, sabi ng guro namin dati may ibig sabihin ang "MARA" sa ibang lengguwahe, ayoko na lang sabihin... pero Maligayang Kaarawan sa'yo! yun lang ang punto...

eksakto... ngayon ay Ika Labing-tatlo, isa pa muling Labing-tatlo- hindi ko na mahintay, kahit na alam kong wala namang magiging bago... tatanda pa ko... haaaayyyy buhay... Life!

Going to the Metro... :D

.,what do i know about the metro aside from its the Capital of the country?... ugh... don't ask me... I ain't know everything... I'm just so exited, and I just can't hide it... I know, I know, I know I want you... I want you... :) LOls...

After so long, I can now have an escape from the rural living... I can see other things aside from the four corners of my room, the walls of the house, and the fields in front overlooking the Hospital...

I cannot be able to hear the chirping of the birds nor the crowing of the rooster for the nth time... I will be busy looking at the grand buildings again plus the Manila Bay... Pass the MOA of course and hear the noise of the busy streets of Manila... The smoke belching jeepneys and buses and the choo choo of the train while making our way through the underpass...

Hello Manila!... Wc to me.. :D from a Country boy, to a City man... :)

Beginning dump of physical memory...

"The 'only' fair thing in our world is its unfairness... and its uncertainties are the 'only ones' which we can be ascertain of..."

I don't really know what's wrong with my pc... it always says this line for about every 15 or 20 minutes and heck i have to restart my computer over again... i am getting sick of it and i don't know what to do... i have searched for remedies and possible solutions on the net and have tried doing some of the suggestions, thanks but no thanks cause none of them are functional...

i have opened a tab and searched for one, and another and another... argggghhhh.... i am getting over of this... i'll just bring this on the shop later... I know I am still a computer retarded in one way or another... I tried to find solutions myself thinking that I might not need to waste my time on dealing with the unpleasing personalities of those men in the repair shop... but duh, I still have a lot to 'learn more' about.

I have a broken pc, a broken cp, I am thinking of my grades whether i'd be able to pass as an academic scholar (but if not its still ok... at least I will be able to continue studying for the next sem. with fair- if not high grades...); I am thinking whether I can be able to transfer from one section to another this coming sem. (cause i am sick of the reading routine); I need to go to my Alma Mater to get a copy of my TOR (which I thought i have already submitted when I entered the University); I have not helped a friend in need which causes my heart to start cracking right now (oh gosh its financial! what can i do?); I have an Aunt in the hospital, Cancer- the prognosis; My Tita from Japan will be arriving this Sunday and heck my mom is cramming... Asking me to wash beautiful plates, prepare stuffs- like what to wear and what to bring, fixing a room for our guest- changing linens, cleaning the house- removing weeds which have sprouted all over the backyard (thanks for the rain), and a lot of other preparations to be done as if the Prime Minister of Japan is the one coming...

I have had a long busy week during the final examinations and I thought that i would be able to have a loooonnng rest now because its already our semestral break but nah, sorry for me... I am expecting to have the trip of my life next week... I and my Tita will be having the 'teen' bonding...
For the longest time, I will be able to live out of my box..

I need to go to school at 1pm, I am getting my class card from a 'very productive' subject matter, and I expect to have a well-deserved grade- but not as much expectations as my friends have for me...
I hope to meet one of my favorite C.I. today coz' i want to see my grades in her subject just to know how i was doing all those times... I know I perform well-enough. She's my last hope, the rope who can pull me up, out of the mud where I have sank... from the woman who have buried half of my body...

I just want things to be fine now... When can the world be fair?... I don't know, cause...


"The 'only' fair thing in our world is its unfairness... and its uncertainties are the 'only ones' which we can be ascertain of..."

Pop in..

"Just smile in times of trouble."

I just want to drop by and visit my dear blog...

I was reviewing for a quiz (tomorrow) when i saw the link through my blog {which is bookmarked on top of my net browser.. :D of course for an easy access :).. } and have decided to post something to ease my boredom..

Lately, the reports have been talking so much about the typhoons that have hit and is currently penetrating the 'Philippine Area of Responsibility'.. (see, i learned something!...:) The daily news (which was normally airing on weekdays) have also taken the time to work and share stories during/ on weekends... I felt so sad for those families and individuals who was greatly affected by the calamity... those who have lost all the important belongings they've had before, whether it be material things or even a loved one. I have thought of what had happened a few weeks ago, the time when it have rained with bits and pieces of ice falling with the rainwater... Now, after all the flooding Ondoy have created... here follows Pepeng with threatening strong winds...

Is Mother Nature making revenge?... For all the filthy things we, human beings have done and are continuously doing... Not to mention what had happened to the American Samoa and also to Indonesia... All this catastrophes and unwanted phenomena happened because of certain reasons and whatever those reasons maybe I know, for sure... that there are people or say individuals behind all this disastrous events... there are entities responsible for all these things that is happening... and during the payback time, who's to be blamed?... where are we headed?...

Thousands of families have been affected, millions worth of investments have been washed away... are we going to wait for billions of total damages to happen before we start to change?...
On our own simple ways... I know we can help... not only helping other people or helping Mother Nature... we must first start to help ourselves.

Filipinos have this certain attitude which makes them unique and different from the other nationalities... which makes me be certain that whatever happens... Everything will all be fine.

"Just smile in times of trouble." -We may not see the pain at a glance... but we can see the tears running when you gaze...

P.S.

The 'Finals Week' is nearly coming and i still have no idea what will happen. I have only taken a peep on one of my lectures... I still have a lot more to read... I know I don't simply need to learn everything, but instead I have to understand them one at a time...

The game is just starting, I mustn't play safe... I need to play good... (or maybe do better? or great?)

May God Bless Me... God Bless the People... and God Bless my Country... :)

Godspeed!


- Happy Birthday Franan!... and Happy Birthday Tita Susan... :D

Have forty winks!..

I love it when the rain falls so unhurriedly...
with the cold and smooth wind blowing all throughout my body...
with the comfort of the mattress, the pillows and the blanket...

I wanna lay down my thoughts... my eyes stopped blinking... before it went to have forty winks...


and now, I'm asleep...

-I have thought of doing my homework but i feel my bed is pulling my body... my pillows dragged and dropped me... :D

how can i fight the insensitivity?...

Water pls. with crushed ICE...

"Guys! Guys! Tingnan nyo, Umuulan ng yelo!!!..." (Guys! guys! look, it's raining men, oh i mean ICE!!!)

.,The weather has been so humidly hot all throughout the day, it was 5:20pm and we were just dismissed from our last subject (one of my favorite! welcome back Ma'am M!) Lightnings and Thunders disturbed our consciousness, we were just talking about how we can solve our problem with one of our teachers and then the wind blew hard... its cold... the heavens went dark and whoala! The heavy rain fell... Literally, it is thus HEAVY... The blinding lightning is accompanied by a very deafening thunder... the branches of the trees sway with the wind... the non-pliant ones were brought back down to the grounds...

"Ano ba yan nagbabagsakan na yung mga bunga ng Talisay sa bubong..." (The fruitlets of the Talisay tree are continuously falling down the roof.) "ang ingay!" (What a noise!) We were on the Student center then... a waiting area made for us, students... Good thing it does have a roof for shelter but not walls for hard blowing winds and splashes of water from the rain... my eyes were wide open to see such once in a lifetime experience...

while we were thinking of ways on how to manage the situation and not to get all soaked and wet, suddenly i heard someone said, "Guys! Guys! Tingnan nyo, Umuulan ng yelo!!!..." (Guys! guys! look, it's raining men, oh i mean ICE!!!)

WTF... really?... is this really happening?.. I was amazed by nature... unexpectedly, the rainwater is falling- with crushed ice... I picked some of it and duh it was cold... (of course its ice!) I smiled and decided to get my cp... (unfortunately, it was EMPTY BAT!, ahhhh shoot!) I was not able to capture some pictures or even a video of it... we were stranded and we're all so wet by that time but it doesn't matter anymore... Seeing tons of crushed ice falling from the heavens outweighed the uncomfortable feeling of being all soaky wet... This is the first time I have seen such phenomenon... 5:40pm: we were still at the student center laughing about our situation...

The University, for just an hour or so was a little flooded; a happening which has never been so new to me, even for other students...

Damn, I still feel disappointed. If my phone has just not broke by the time i needed it most... I would've documented what had happened...

After the hard and heavy rain we've then decided to continue what we've planned to do just before that incident happened- Malling :D

After, we walked our way to the terminal hearing people talking about what had happened, as if we have not witnessed it huh...

A group of Teenagers looking up at the dark sky saw a one big white cloud far from where we were and then said, "whoi baka isang bloke naman ng yelo yung bumagsak!" (hey, what if a block of ice would be the next one to fall!) Lol... that was funny... and if that thing would happen how i wish he'll be the first one to be hit hardly... crap!

P.S.

I just realized now, "What's happening with Mother Nature?... She's changed."

-nga pala, Jp, happy birthday!... (kahit di mo to mababasa, kahit may bago ka nang friends...):D

Maligayang Kaarawan

"Parang kahapon lang nang isilang ako sa mundong ito, pero ngayon... heto, Cute pa rin ako! wala pa ring nagbabago..."


ilang panahon na rin ang lumipas, umulan na nang sobrang lakas sa mundong ginagalawan ko... sumobra na rin ang mga naranasan kong init... ilang beses na din akong lumusong sa baha at minsan, maranasang magtampisaw sa tubig na naipon nito...

Pagkakataon nga naman, ano bang meron sa petsang ito? sa dinami-rami ng araw sa kalendaryo... Mayroon namang tatlongdaan at animnapu't apat pang ibang panahon...

Una, ang paggunita sa ikaapa'tnapung araw na kamatayan ng aking Pangulo... Ang dami naman simbahan na pwedeng puntahan ni Kris, pero ang lakas talaga ni Bishop kay Itay... Personal daw niyang pinili ang Cathedral ng Balanga para doon niya gunitain ang kamatayan ng kanyang Ina sa Misang hinanda ng Parokya- sabi ni Kris... Ayun, ang mga Balangue ño nagkagulo... nakalimutan nang misa ang pinuntahan nila, Ai maalala ko lang, Oo nga pala, Alam nilang may public figure na pupunta, hindi lang basta artista- si Kris Aquino pa... picture, picture... autograph, ano pa?... Shake hands tsaka beso...:D Solve na!... may makakapagpasikat na rin sa mga kapitbahay, mga kaklase, tsaka yung iba pang pwedeng mainggit... bwahahaha... (If I know ganyan iniisip nila..)

Ako? Gutom ako eah... kumain na lang kami sa Chowking, halos tapat lang ng kanto papasok ng parking area ng simbahan... ang daming tao, nakakatamad makiusyoso... sayang! pagkakataon ko na sanang makita si Baby James...:D


Ikalawa, nagdeklara na ang unico hijo... tatakbo daw siya... sana nga iba siya sa lahat ng mga pulitiko, sana mapantayan nya nga yung nagawa ng mga magulang niya kung sakaling maluklok man siya... wag lang makuha ang ugali ng ibang mga napupuwesto, kung makakain sa resto milyon pa ang pinaluluto... Pakape ka na lang!... :D (Starbucks! Lol..)

-singit ko lang, ngunit wala namang masyadong importansiya ito doon sa talagang pakay ko... yung ibang pulitiko lang kasi kung magapaglabas ng 'infomercials' parang sobra lang sa pag smoke belching... "Yayaman tayo.", parang sarcastic baga... ang hirap talaga minsan magbuhat ng sariling pink 'stainless-steel' na bangko... oo masama ngang manghusga kaya lang minsan kasi parang sobra naman yung mga hangin na lumalabas sa katawan natin, ang baho!... Hindi naman kailangan lahat 'Bayani'... yung ibang simpleng tao naman may kaya ring gawin... matatalino ang mga Pilipino, alam ko kahit papaano madadala nila sa tamang daan ang kanilang mga boto... (nga pala, sa susunod pong halalan, huwag ninyo akong kalilimutan! hehehehe...:D)

Ikatlo, Birthday ng isang importanteng nilalang (na hindi ko alam kung bakit nalikha sa mundong ito...) ni hindi ko mawari kung paano oh bakit nagaganap ang mga bagay-bagay na wala ni isa man lang bang koneksiyon sa pagkakaayos ng mga bituin sa langit ngayon, oh sa paggalaw ng mga planeta sa 'axis' nito, kahit sa pagtatago ng buwan sa likod ng mga ulap, aaraw, uulan, tapos nalagyan pa ng glitters yung pantalon ko kanina... nakascarf pa naman ako... buti na lang kumain ako ng hapunan...

ha?... ang gulo ano? hindi ko rin alam kung bakit, pero yung tao kasi na ito masyadong ginugulo ang mundo ko... minsan naiisip ko, bumili kaya ako ng mighty bond (para mapagdikit ko na lang palagi yung mundo namin), kasi para siyang si superman (napakalakas ng dating)... ayaw ko lang sabihin oh tawagin siyang mcdo (Love ko 'to) bka sabihin obvious na masyado... :D korni nga daw ako, pero alam ko nangingiti naman siya kahit papaano kapag sinesendan ko siya ng quotes na korni, yung tipong,

"Kung nasa laboratory raw ako at kasama kita... Anong English nun?... uhmmm... eh di...

I'm in lab with you!... ayeee!"

tama na nga ang kalokohan...

Ikaapat, oo eto na talaga yun... sa mga pinaggagagawa ko ba naman dito sa lugar na ito, hindi ko akalaing tatagal ako ng ganito... Isang taon na pala ako dito... hindi ko man lang namalayan, ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Maraming tuldok na ang nagawa ko (eto, '....'), nakakairita ba? medyo'...' naniniwala lang kasi ako na ang bawat letra, ang bawat salita, ang bawat parirala, oh kahit isang buong talata, lahat ng ito ay maaaring laging may karugtong, posibleng ang tuldok, dagdagan pa ng dalawang tuldok, tapos ilang salita... hanggang sa mabuo ang isang bagong talata... (ang saya di'ba?) gusto ko lang gamitin ang pagkakataong ito upang pasalamatan ang lahat ng nilalang, pagkakataon, panahon at kung ano-ano pang mga bagay na nagtutulak sa akin upang ipagpatuloy ko ang aking makabuluhang pagsusulat. Kung hindi siguro dahil sa mga ito, wala akong malilikhang katha...

Nagsimula ako sa wala, nandyan si 'chique' (spexal mention!), na laging nag iiwan ng komento kahit walang kwenta ang ilan kong gawa (di naman lahat)... tayo lang kasi minsan nakakaintindi sa gawa ng isa't-isa (nakakarelate baga dung!). Tapos unti-unti nadagdagan kahit papaano yung mga napapadpad dito sa site ko... masaya na ko dun! sabi ko nga, okey lang naman kahit wala oh konti yung nagbabasa ng mga katha ko, ok lang kahit hindi din magcomment yung ibang napapadaan, ayos lang kung hindi maappreciate ng ibang tao yung mga naisusulat ko... Nagsusulat ako kasi eto yung gusto ko. Gusto kong ilabas kung ano yung nasasaloob ko... gusto kong kahit papaano mabawasan yung mga iniisip ko, maibsan yung mga kalungkutan, maibahagi yung mga kasiyahan, at simpleng matuto mula sa iba...

sabi nga ni Anne Frank,
"I can shake off everything if I write, my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn."

at sabi ni Aya,

"If i don't write down the things in my heart right now, tomorrow... then i would forget it and disappear..."

gusto ko, tumagal pa ako sa pagsusulat ng isang taon tapos doblehin ng mga isang milyong beses... at dagdagan ng mga isang daang milyong beses na lang... ayos na sa akin iyon...

oh siya, may duty pa ko bukas... at naghahati na ang araw... lumampas na ako sa 09/09/09, Setyembre 10 na...

Maligayang Kaarawan sa akin, sa kanya, sa amin... :D pano ba yan, mukhang imposibleng makalimutan ko talaga ang date na ito... Ganoon yata talaga pag importante... hehehehe... mahirap kalimutan, mahirap maalis sa isipan... sluggish ako eah... mabagal! pahingi nga ng 'do'... dadagdagan ko lang yung t*rpe ko... (para medyo bumilis, kailangan 'torpedo')... :D

¡feliz cumpleaños!...